all Gyan BIG & small

Leverage

2011-02-07T15:54:00.002+05:30

That’s my theme for the blog marathon (if I can call it that).

Let me go back in time – once long ago, really really long ago, when man was still in the Garden of Eden, and springs of water came up from the land to water the plants, and all the man had to do, was to enjoy God’s presence and enjoy all that he was given – there was no leverage! – And then quoting Milton –

“Of Mans First Disobedience, and the Fruit
Of that Forbidden Tree, whose mortal taste
Brought Death into the World, and all our woe,
With loss of EDEN, till one greater Man
Restore us, and regain the blissful Seat,
Sing Heav'nly Muse, that on the secret top
Of OREB, or of SINAI, didst inspire…..”

And man’s solution to the Woe was primarily based on leverage – A leverage of future possibilities for an exchange price for the present. So - I will write about leverage of time, of money, of love, or relationships, of God, of religion, of politics and much more.

So – my audience - what is the first ‘leverage’ topic I should write about?

Brevity

2011-02-02T11:37:00.003+05:30

That’s the word on my mind these days!

I wonder how and why we subscribe, chase and almost kill ourselves and everyone else, with an overdose of everything. Quality is fast being replaced with Quantity – Yes, I want those 300 links from Google, but after the endless surfing, often wonder – how I wish someone just gave what was needed – Just exactly to the point.

Walk to a coffee shop, tired and zonked, and you ask for a simple double shot – “sir – would you like chocolate sauce with this? Add extra shot of coffee (hehehhe yes – that happened for real), want whipped cream on this – ewwww !!! - and you wonder, where were those days, when you just got that one shot of coffee. Yes, there are days you want to indulge, but then - most days are normal and you just want your good old simple stuff.

The breadth, width, height, density and viscosity of information often kills the beauty of the entire being / thing / transaction. (This statement is an example of it – I could have simply said – hey, I don’t understand – can you keep it to the point?)

Something most fascinating in the brevity world; The blind-date-document-mode side of the business(RFPs), where the service provider thinks they are expected to deliver euphoria of potentially saved $, and cater to the guys actual need to get his next promotion – however, one paradox I fail to understand – the Service Requirer (hehhe ~client) wants specific brief responses, and the service provider believes that they should establish their credentials over and over again. So, if I say the same story in 10 pages, instead of 4 lines – it becomes better ?

Since this is a blind date – how about this – Hey, I am this, xx yrs in business, and I will not insult your intelligence by telling how big and good and worthy and qualified and better and smarter etc I am - you already approached me – so let me give you in one page how I can help you. We can provide you answers to all questions that you have based on this?

Or

Slide 1-10 (how I grew from being a t-shirt ripper to white shirt wearer)
Slide 11-20 (how my t-shirt is better than any other t-shirt you would even think of, or even thought of)
Slide 21-22 (okay – my solution)
Slide 23-33 (how organized, and civilized and mature and robust the process is)
Slide 34 (my deliverables)
Slide 35-42 (how wonderful our relationship would be)
Slide 43…. zzzzZZZZZZZZZZ

hello …frantic conf calls – we have an emergency – need a one page summary, and a small 2 pager answering the real questions, and please guys don’t send such long answers.

No wonder, even college admission forms come with word limit these days.

Brevity – just relevant and nice.

The invasion of sound

2011-01-06T18:26:00.001+05:30

....And I write this from a place you are violated in every sense of the word, by heat, by strong cigarette odour, stinky armpits, no personal space etc etc. But what really tests your resolve, is being bombarded with music on FM phones in every direction and with loud chatter on the phones.

Yes, we all grew in an economy of - 'the more(you get), the more your value for money', but all of us some where forgot what cacophony, life has turned into, and that too quite literally!!!

Be it being rudely woken up to Ayyappa chants, or a competing sound from the masjid or now even churches - you are sleep deprived!! And the worst part - if you as much as make a suggestion to reduce the volume, all hell will break loose.

Of the few things that I really like to see my Country change, is getting a lil more quiet.

I wonder if we are rapidly loosing the ability to listen to anyone or anything, as we are always hearing way too much than we ought too.

Ecoutez le silence !!!!!
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone

Sania, Shoaib and a moron journalist

2010-04-15T08:54:00.003+05:30

Yes, as much as I am bugged reading all the news about this clandestine (had to use that word) wedding, I chanced up on well written??? article by PTI / Rediff, and it made my day - I am ROFL :-). Yes, there is an explicit disclaimer, that the article (by PTI / Rediff) cannot be distributed and republished etc etc, but there is no disclaimer that I cannot make a mockery of the amazing sentence constructs. So bite me if you get offended.

Here it comes, the original news post along with my comments in (brackets):
///

The sangeet ceremony of the newly-wed Indian tennis star Sania Mirza, who tied the knot with Pakistani cricketer Shoaib Malik earlier in the week, was on Wednesday held at a city hotel in Hyderabad.

(John Says: "who tied the knot with ..." also almost suggests, that both together tied it to someother person (shaoib's apa??)
Oh - btw, as MCP or sexist as I might sound; - 'Sania tied the knot' - I always thought, that the 'groom tied the knot', but Poor Shoaib, I guess had to let go off his pants, after being in the mud, and escaping the long arm of the kanooooooooon.

Both Sania and Shoaib, who got married on Monday, attended the ceremony.
(John Says: Oh wow! - they attended the ceremony - moron, I guess they were the hosts / it's their own function - you think they "graced" it with their celebrity presence??huh!!!!!)

Sania's outfit for the occasion was designed by Shantanu and Nikhil, while Shoaib's dress was gifted to his newly-wed wife's family members, the tennis player's spokesperson said.
(John Says: Now this is a Master Piece - "Shoaib's dress was gifted to his newly-wed wife's family members" - serioulsy - I don't see him naked, he was wearning clothes - oh- you meant, Sania's family gifted Shoaib clothes - it should have read - ' Shoaib's dress was gifted by his newly.........blah blah)

The guests had a lively evening as some enthralling music was played out on the occasion.
(John Says: Since I am on a mockery roll, yes - we expected some boring, funeral songs to be played - oops - did I say a funeral ?? - It's a bloody sangeet, and you will play enthralling music, and just curious - how did this punjabi custom creep into 'across the border, muslim wedding' - ya - I am the sterotype who believes that everything is fair in love, war and sports)

The menu for the evening included a lavish spread of about seven starters, a salad counter, a kebab corner, 10 main course dishes and six deserts.
(John says - ummm..should have been nice food - I am a hyderabadi, and I can vouch how you get all those love handles on star atheletes - it's just such food - ya - that was a little below the stomach - oopsie - stomach :P)

Former tennis players Jaideep Mukherjee and Akhtar Ali also attended the wedding celebrations.
(John says - nice - never heard of them - did they win the grandslam in 20-20 tennis ?)

Bollywood's living legend Amitabh Bachchan family has reportedly sent wishes to Sania and Shoaib on their wedding.
(John says: Oh my !#$%^ - to start with - it should be Amitabh Bachchan's family and not 'Amitabh Bachchan family', and really, the journalist had to include this tag line? - has not the poor Big B got enough shit already with the mumbai sea-link. Now he will be accused of supporting a wedding across the border, and called anti-Indian?)

The wedding reception will be held at the star hotel on Thursday.
(John Says: I really look forward to this, and just one question - you really are a journalist? I dinn know you can have some many gramatical errors in one small article and get to publish it in the WWW - or, is it "CREATIVE freedom" ?

(P.S - all gramaertical and speelingis msitakesses are strictly intentional, and any far resemblance to accuracy is a creative error - pls ignore, or duh leave a comment)

Cheap Post

2010-02-17T23:59:00.001+05:30

We speak of building world class products, but the bid goes to the cheapest bidder; we speak of hiring the best talent, but the offer goes to the one who agrees to the cheapest salary in that bracket; we give gyan about world class services, but acquire the cheapest machines; we speak about getting the best partner, but only like that one that is most comfortable to what we think ? .. .eh ? so basically, the world sucks, because it mostly has all the cheapest guys in the wrong places; most relationships are sore, because - most got a cheap partner, and about everything else - we do not have the time to think - afterall time is "expensive" - did I say expensive - /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\__________

I am on FaceBook

2009-12-22T19:07:00.000+05:30

And finally, I am on the Facebook- something, I resisted a long time - why - just not the virtual networking types. I still pick the phone and call the person I want to get in touch with.

Nothing replaces the voice I say.

However, it's surprising to see some many living out "virtual lives" out in the wireless world.

....And in these virtual worlds too,(though I am just a few hours old) I observe people fighting the same battles - expectations, joy, broken hearts, stalking, disappointments and crushes.

Now one might argue, hey, these are the same humans online - are they really? - I still rather hear the angry / sweet voices, would like if some one would hit me in person than send a virtual punch, and a real kiss :-) - any takers for the virtual form? Hehehehehe

Yet still,the unwired world is "connecting" more and more by the second

~To life
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

Best response to Telangana

2009-12-14T18:32:00.002+05:30

By far the best response I seen so far - it's as absurd as the demand for telangana is.
Click Here

Mr. Monk and "The End"

2009-12-12T15:59:00.002+05:30

Mr.Monk finally comes to an end after 8 seasons.

This is one of the nice memories I carried from the US. Watched couple of episodes, and got hooked on to it so much – I got the first 6 season DVDs shipped to me from HongKong. (Yes, not sold in India, not beamed and all that crap)

And finally, I found a way to watch (online) and keep up with the last 2 seasons of Monk. I feel sad many times, that this (among some of my favorite shows) doesn’t get beamed in India and can’t access it legally online – so, some IP masking and shit like that – today, with a lag of 8 days (another internet rule / restriction), I watch the final episode.

Now that the final episode is done, I feel a little like Monk himself – everything solved and nothing more to work (err watch :-) )

It truly was a brilliant series and gave me many refreshing and happy moments.

Kudos to all entire crew and cast of Monk.

I wonder

2009-11-21T23:33:00.002+05:30

…And I write after a really looooooooooooooooooong time. So much happened over the last 8 months

Tasted recession first hand
Mourned along with a few friends in their loss of loved ones
Few cousins / friends got married
Some good friends became very sick
My niece and nephew are growing (fast if I may add)
Gained a ‘LOT’ of weight – (yes – I should lose tons)
Mind thinks about “Wonder land”

And now, I look ahead and wonder – really wonder, with that sense of wonder, which we seem to loose with every growing day – wonder about a lot of things, and some nice new yearnings, a few sweet nothings about my ‘old ‘ self – all the past years – the gone by days of endless dreams and energy - and I smile seeing “experience” replacing intellectual argument, and solitude replacing ‘spur of the moment’ actions and so on.

Yet – there is that old cerebellum that refuses to sleep, or be satisfied, and it thinks, dreams, questions, asks, fingers and still emits those shimmering sparks, that make me again wonder – and at the end of the day, we all have to deal with the same old bare threads – present, future and past (mostly in that order), and the concoction of various elements that have the most definite impact on those threads – Trust, Faith, Love.

I wonder how these three always come to the foray, and almost always everything else is a subset to these.

I wonder – I like the wonder – I miss the wonder.

P.S: Dedicated to the one who with whom I can share this wonder – my future partner – I don’t know who she is – but – yes – I wonder.

:-)

Epic Fall

2009-09-29T18:32:00.000+05:30

It’s at moments like these that your ire notches up a few more degrees than you thought was your worst, and being precluded in a world that you don’t want anyone to interfere with and most of all have ‘pep talk’ when they have no freaking clue about what ‘reality’ is, you get tested with your patience on some ‘I care about you’ talk.

Please – if you cared enough, or even knew me enough, you would stay right in your own place, for you never really knew me or for that matter anyone else than yourself, for you so freaking live a life that revolves around your own damn self – megalomania !

And do I sound like a jerk? Well, did I ever say I was not?

That Past Haunts …

2009-09-07T22:18:00.000+05:30

Why does one always look at the past, and even the one with the most pitiful existence, have some wonderful moments to remember back, while at the same time, everything about tomorrow, is looked with spite, loaded with fears and speculation.

The answer my friend is – when we look at the past, we always see beyond ourselves, and our situations (present and past), while when we look at the future, we somehow can’t look an inch beyond ourselves!

Whoa!

The vantage of time

2009-09-05T09:34:00.003+05:30

As the clocks keep ticking ahead, and to most in my immediate circle (me included), the clock somehow seems ticking faster as you approach or just about cross 30. At this probable midpoint in life, often wonder how the vantage of time has fared.

It’s a one off game between the ticking clock and the suspended slices of time till now.

I would start the timeline from high school, (or teen age years ~ ah, that sounds sooooooooooo good), cos till then, the ticking clock was controlled by everything and everybody else than us.

And the day arrived, when each of us said (in our teen age years) – Hey! – I know what I am doing, I really do, and bloody stop interfering with my life – I can control it, and know hellya much better than you know. After all, what the hell do you know about being in my generation and being in teen years (hellya, yes!).

The clocks slowed down, rather got scared looking at the fusillade of energy - the days stopped at 23:49, and started at 00:16, and the clocks got confused and decided to lay low, and watch life unfold. The days were really long, and the nights nonexistent, and the speed of thought limited by only the risk of a fissure to the skull, and the rate of blossom thwarted by “speed controls – commonly known as parents”.

And then, school and college ended, and the 20’s look on –

Welcome to the inebriated condition of a high, fighting a terrible hangover and acting sober to make a pristine impression on everyone and everything around. An image of “have done it all, seen it all, and nothing, no matter what can jolt us”. The clocks are catching up, and have that evil tick about them – somehow, the hours seem to fly past us, that you are being dragged to a slow rhythm, and are injected seeds of frustration at how slow things move, and yet somehow, times seems to fly right past our face.

There are valleys of time of total emptiness, or a mad rush of everything, that you think Planet Mars would be fine, it after all has a good 41 minutes more each day. (41 mins eh!) – Wait it has 322 days more in a year (I would be still 16 and rocking now on planet Mars. It’s all the conspiracy of the old-minded homo sapiens that thwarted Mars travel, to prevent “DNA drain” – and unfortunately back here on Earth, in the 20’s all that one sees, it controversies and more and more and more and more and more and more….huh…. conspiracy theories.)

And then , one day – you are jolted out of the busy slumber, by switch points that induce a sudden shock (more commonly known as parents) – saying – hey – it’s about time you settled, flowed more in sync with the time, and take responsibility seriously, and procreate before it ‘s too late – WHAT – hello 30’s. Whoa!!!

The first thing that you wonder in 30’s – why are parents so eager that their daughters get laid as soon as they can (cos till just a few years ago, they had a whole network of aunties guarding their precious child), and ensure that the son’s get the best bird, before it’s too late(while till a few micro nano seconds ago, you were a kid who din’t know anything about women;- and other things like career and jobs and love for the country, animals, mountains, rickshaws, Somalia, Quantum Physics, congeniality, music, God, money, society, stature – I am tired the list is really long, were very very absolutely and only important).

But Back on Earth, we stare at the clocks, who now display their first hand at overtaking us, and a whole life of revenge waiting to happen – huh! – Revenge – are you not clock – innate and no feelings?

Slowly but surely, we make ‘peace’ to walk in tandem with the tick tock of the clock, and I know for sure, time will run over.

For now, I am still 30, and refuge to speculate till the time stops (I mean ya – the bloody tick tock does not stop, till I finally run out and bow to the eternal timeline)

___

On the Train

2009-08-26T19:39:00.000+05:30

So, just made it on the after a mad sprint across 3 platforms, and hopping into the last bogie just as it was about to leave the platform, and thanks to some fervent prayers, the train left 4 minutes late.

Now the fun part, my ticket was upgraded, and now retained on the same class. However, another girl got upgraded. The catch, she is newly wed, and her hubby beside her did not get upgraded.

The sincere TT says, its against the rules to exchange tickets across classes, and I bet he will be around to check if we do swap the seats.

Fun
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

Twenty minutes to go

2009-08-26T18:42:00.000+05:30

That's all the time I have to reach the railway station, after losing a good 20 mins at a railway crossing.

And it's raining.

And traffic mamu wants to clear one big lane at a time.

Will post a "from the train blog" if I make it in time.

If I should think of some consolation, my waitlisted ticket got upgraded to first class. But I guess there is never a free meal!
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

Yes, I did it :-)

2009-08-08T23:25:00.001+05:30

An uncle that I respect much, while discussing (~ read give gyan) about my girl hunt, said –

"John – before a man really gets to commit and is ready to be married, he has to be broken apart in every sense, and be built back, and this is the only way, it really gets done. The longer you resist, for whatever reason you think it’s worth it, it just gets painful”

Well – I just smiled, and thought, ya – there are few things I need to let go, but being broken apart and then being rebuilt – hmmm… naaaaaaaaah.

I still wonder about the above, but today, I have done something I thought I will never do (or rather never wanted to do) – Send across my “profile” to a prospective girl!

Yes – I did it, and all my dear friends – you can go ahead and rag me now.

Well, the only salvage point – I sent as few details as possible, and 4 pictures that were shot by random friends – pictures that are as close in resemblance of me – well – I am not the poster boy, and let not my pictures (if at all) paint me that way.

The best thing about my blog, it will never show up on Google if searched with my full name or partial names, as in my profile. However, it does show up if searched with my nicknames – and thats something not many know :-)

Let’s see what happens.

Nice Quote

2009-08-04T19:30:00.001+05:30

God made Adam before he made Eve because he didn't want any advice on the matter.

~ Patrick Murray

Being Broke

2009-07-31T23:21:00.001+05:30

There was a time, when being broke meant being broke. You had no money in your pocket, your bank and no hope of any deposits mysteriously appearing out of no where.

Come this modern era, I wonder if any of us are / can be really broke in the classical term. You have an overdraft, a nice big credit limit on a few cards, and a whole range of managed funds - in simple terms - Cash Flow.

After being on half pay for almost half a year, and a fast dwindling bottom line, and more than expected expenses - my monthly balance sheet shows a big 5 digit figure in the red. Yet, I am making some 6 digit investments in small time businesses(assuming they will payout in the short term), watch movies at IMAX, reading and buying books.

I wonder, today looking at the red, if I am broke - in pure accounting terms, if my other assets get frozen, I can file for bankruptcy - hmmm

The modern day definition of being broke is that your cards get frozen, bank account reads zero, and you have no money in the pocket, and you think twice before calling a friend and they think twice as many times before they answer calls.

Quite some experience this recession is.

P.S: Consulting references welcome!

....
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

Whatever

2009-07-19T22:45:00.001+05:30

.... And when I say 'whatever', it means, I am at the end of the line.

Whatever
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

The case of a Genius gone wrong

2009-07-13T13:07:00.001+05:30

It all starts early, when everyone around him is fascinated by his apparent breadth of understanding, while in reality it’s amplitude that really sets him apart – in short, he sets off on a path of deeper probing, while the world assumes a broader spreading. The initial conflicts appear as rather curious quirks, and are put up with as rather fascinating, and yeah, he will eventually grow up and understand – except that, his long lone way of a single journey, not encompassing a broad horizon starts – In short, a loner in the making, with a flamboyant outlook.

And, then along the way, in his growing years, he meets and finds some cloned cousins who can give endless intellectual orgasm, and they become friends for a while. And the clock ticks, where the loner, for some time, with his friends started expanding his circle, suddenly realized that he misses, what he most cherishes – amplitude, and off, he sets on a path, of deeper understanding again.

And , the clock ticks, till he finds no one to really connect to, and but various people befriend him for very good short term advantages, for any of the following in this order:

Intelligence
Career Success
The persona of confidence

And, then he hates it to a point, wondering if there is anyone real out there? Real, meaning – who can just sit and talk, and just talk and just talk, and yet not bore you with giggly stories.
And the loner now, fully grown, comes with the best alternative to kill intellectual boredom – douse yourself till you are knocked out in work – Work – the best ever reason abused by man to hide from home, relationships, responsibility, growth or just plain boredom.

And, then the good old loner cannot get any more kicks from work, or the work cannot douse him anymore, and so finds his alter ego, to talk to, to reason with and in short, not literally hallucinate or end Schizophrenic, or rather wished it was that way!

And, then a tender knock of the real world, where all the fascinated world from the first paragraph, suddenly want you to grow up – and no longer like the fellow you are- and yes, they know – you are a genius, but now find their comfort by seeing as a moron – for by accepting that you are a genius would mean sharing the responsibility of your existing state.

And, then there are a few lucky ones, who have that one or two friends, who see past the skull, and the skin – but – then that’s a rarity. You end up longing for one chat with no strings attached, or just a plain coffee with no halos.

(Interlude – the other friends are fighting their own demons too – but, are they really?)

Who else did say the sun shall shine always – it has to be clouded for the well being of everyone – at the same time, come back to give the warmth – but the burning sun stands alone, burning. So much for a case that’s gone so terribly wrong, or has it really gone wrong?

.....

What a song!

2009-06-28T22:20:00.000+05:30

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You can hear it at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CvaTrg8Frg

Onslaught of the Imaginary

2009-06-21T18:52:00.002+05:30

Need say more?

Take 30 seconds, close your eyes and think how much 'reality' there really is; a reality not influenced by the Imaginary!

Have fun :-)

Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

Busy people find time

2009-06-20T16:59:00.001+05:30

You never really understand that till you have free time on your hand and really do nothing.

I did far more many things when much busier than now. What a tragedy!

Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

Is hell exothermic or endothermic?

2009-06-15T18:05:00.001+05:30

Deprived of any intellectual stimuli - and hours of endless browsing, found something worth a tickle to the head. - Read on -

Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

Imagination, fantasy & creativity

2009-05-03T09:09:00.000+05:30

Imagination has its foundation in an unfulfilled possible reality. The key word here is 'possible'.

Fantasy has its foundation on an undeserved / unearnable reality.

Most often we confuse fantasy for ambition & extrapolation for imagination. That leaves us with one question - creativity.

Creativity is augmenting what's already present, and having the curtosy to give credit to what has been, and taking credit for what is been augmented.

.....
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

Definitions

2009-05-02T21:44:00.003+05:30

Disappointment – When you fail to keep up an appointment with yourself, most often camouflaged as with the environments / people other than you
Pain – the feeling that you want to share, and cant share, and have no one except you to look into, most often camouflaged being hurt by something external
Hope – the quintessential feeling of strength and weakness at the same time for humans – most often seen as positive, in reality it has no polarity
Blog – Where you “right” things at some superficial level (by writing wierd blogs), not having to care about anything, but usually morphed under fictitious labels of Points of view, attitude, et all
Relationship – the tyranny of seeking strength in your weakest moments, and willing to get sapped out for your partners weakest moments, usually packed in a pink box called love, and a cute bow called sacrifice, but essentially another survival game that’s played with finesse, and by choice have raging sparks (of all kinds)
Me (I) – A figment of many ppl’s imagination, a product of a couple’s love, and a creation of God – still, does anyone really know? (God excluded) – Usually appears in the shape, size and taste of how the receptor chooses to view of how you fit into his/her reality, in an fictitiously realistic world
You – the blog reader, who traversed this page either to increase blog stats, or you are terribly bored, or curious of everything / everyone, or someone who lives an exciting virtuous life in the connected world (really? – Bullshit)

Dilbert on a hot date!

2009-04-14T13:50:00.002+05:30

Achievments and living

2009-04-14T01:08:00.000+05:30

'Achievement' is to take the broad canopy of experiences to make an impacting difference to a simple thing.

'Living'(life fully) is to discover and understand, how much depth there is to that apparent simple thing.

Without real achievements, you can never discover living. Without truly living, you can never really achieve anything.

....And yes, there are lots of immaterial achievements (ironically mostly identified by their materialistic value), and there is life in the fast lane, where every one is in a hurry to reach ahead, so that they can enjoy life with the time they worked so hard to save!

To Bliss
~John
.
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

Atlast

2009-04-12T00:51:00.000+05:30

After being blissful in my own world, exploring, enjoying, crying, cursing, riding, living and having fun by my terms, at last, I guess I fully feel the need for a partner and also now ready to be a partner, and share and look at life ahead along with whoever my partner would be.

Yes on fronts - Spiritual, intellectual, emotional and physical.

My blogs reflect my Spiritual, Intellectual and Emotional aspects, and I believe that these are sides of you that don't get built or change overnight. The last aspect - physical - that's what I need to work on.

When I think back, I look at myself in both awe and disgust at the same time - looks like I can shrink and expand by quite a range. But for now, I want to shrink and stay that way. Ya, ppl - you can gift me some nice sports shoes and a new wardrobe, which is 2 sizes smaller. That way I would really have to earn it. (...and some nice Deo's - c'mon, that the only piece of cosmetic, if I can call that, that I use)

Who would that girl be? I don't know. This much I am sure - I will make it count and like I always said - either will get her in the square or I'll be square. No masks, no best foot forward approaches - :-)

To life
~John

Life @ Business - Part 2

2009-04-09T12:35:00.003+05:30

I thought the last post summarized it all, till today morning, till I met another character of his kind (all over again)

Rationals understand logic
Irrationals love to hear themselves
Obtuse keep asking for more data

Never underestimate the power of an obtuse, self proclaimed demi-God with no brains and pseudo balls - first they engage with you, then they frustrate you, and then have the nerve to take glory of fictitious value.

Arrogance

2009-03-30T08:38:00.004+05:30

Most often Arrogance is acquired, which people hate, cos you don't deserve to be arrogant.

Arrogance must be earned - People will still hate you (cos secretly they realise that they cant be you), and can't deny that yu earned it.
....

Recession Recession

2009-03-15T19:34:00.002+05:30

Much better than falling in love with a woman

2009-03-15T19:29:00.001+05:30

Funniest Geek pick up line

2009-03-09T23:50:00.000+05:30

This by far is the funniest Geek Pick Up line I heard -

You are by far the most beautiful women I have seen since my Grad days. I'll give you two years of free tution to sleep with you!!

Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

A Bastard nation called “Pakistan”

2009-03-03T10:45:00.001+05:30

This is a nation that has no identity of its own – neither they inherit the genes of the Muslim world that flourished in the Middle East, nor is a country that has the money like its other cousins, nor the political will, or any soul of its own.

It’s like a teenager who flaunts his long distant uncle’s wealth and lives off the glory of his first cousin, and digs shamelessly into the pockets of his father(s) to live a lavish life that it has not earned or inherited, and turns out to be a life that has no character, soul nor any sense of basic human dignity.

Do I need to say more? – attack a cricket team, terrorize a neighboring country, can’t control half its land and the ppl who “rule” there, live off the money given by characterless countries, and at the end it of all blame the world, the moon, the stars and everything else than themselves.

That’s what you call “A Bastard of a Nation – Pakistan”
.

Wedding Anniversary

2009-02-21T22:34:00.002+05:30

Today was my Parents wedding anniversary. 33 years of married life.

They say that it feels like 33 days. And how true - when we look back on our lives, many things and the most important things feel like they happened yesterday, and the trouble we buffet ourselves with seem like eternity.

I wonder, and when I look back, after 3 full decades of living, it seems like life started just yesterday. I remember the first day, my sister went to school, and the colours look so real and her oiled piggy tails so fresh.

So many memories, seeming like they happened yesterday, and now when I see my Parents smiling on Yesterday - it reminds gently, that so much of worry for today at best robs of all your happiness and nothing more.

Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

The Tinted Glass

2009-02-21T08:42:00.000+05:30

I am sure all of us have at least once laughed catching some one unaware on the other side of a tinted glass. Someone combing, checking their teeth or adjusting their clothes or just admiring themselves all unaware that there is someone watching them on the other side of the tinted glass.

While this is fun in life, I wonder why it becomes so exceptionally dirty in work life. People talking and behaving oblivious that there are no closed rooms or cubicles, but just tinted glass(es) on all 6 sides.

One thing is for sure. How you behave when you are winning tells a lot about your character, and everything about your character when you are losing.

The last 2 weeks has given me a chance to look at myself through this tinted glass, and it was ______ seeing myself that way.

You discover a few subdued traits of yourself, experience a different depth of emotion and have a muffled laugh meeting yourself all over again.

The best part is when you realize the convictions, beliefs and ideas you swore by suddenly don't appear and you wonder. And then you sit back, see the world on the other side of the tinted glass and finally laugh.

To life
~John

Entering the world of Mobile blogging

2009-02-21T00:26:00.001+05:30

Modern Man's best friend in the corporate world - the Blackberry.

It helps you browse, play games, check match scores, chat and ya make phone calls, and kill boredom during long corporate speeches, meetings, waiting for the girl to come etc etc. Oh yeah, you can check all your personal mails, book movie tickets, find addresses / directions and....and....and.... Check office mail and ignore it all!

Now I can blog sitting on the pot!!! Did all the girls say eh! Let me share some disgusting secret - you girls never know how many times your guy answered the phone sitting like a king on the Pot. Hehhehehhehe

Mobile blogging Zindabad

Miss you

2009-02-21T00:01:00.001+05:30

At the end of a long frustrating and depressing week, just two words that brought a smile - "Miss You"
- It was nice :-) -

Red flags, missed schedules and dwarfed minds

2009-02-19T08:00:00.002+05:30

Of late, I have been in Sombre mood . Ya, a lot of it has to do with the worries of an uncertain job market, bad recession and the fast dwindling topline of the account I manage, and everyone reacts very differently to the same.

'Friends' who have never been in touch start calling 2-3 times a day asking me for references and help updating the CVs, Pals offer advice, close ones offer fortitude and the rest with whom you work, offer Red Flags, missed schedules and dwarfed minds.

It’s perplexing how this whole concept of Red Flags, Missed Schedules and Dwarfed minds work both at work and in life in general.

At work, when red flags are raised early on, you are an asshole and the same when raised by the world over, after something gets screwed and you refuse to be part of the “orgasmic futile dwarfed ‘intellectual’ discussion”, you are again being an Asshole – wake up – either grow balls, or take pride in being diminutive (and I guess there is nothing wrong with that).

In life, fortunately it’s not driven by schedules and P/L accounts – yes, the bills do worry me, but that has its place and that’s about it. I like the few who can look into your eye, and tell you much before, hey John – I think you are taking too much of a risk or this may be bad for you there by in a way raise the red flag – and at the same time give you the freedom saying – it’s your life – It’s wonderful to have them around, and yes – you can count them using as few fingers as possible. And the rest really don’t matter, as they supply you with a bundle of red flags constantly with which you can decorate your life, till it bleeds of Red – same - either grow balls, or take pride in being diminutive.

Ya, this blog is strong and intense – have a problem, press ALT+F4 or even better CTRL+ALT+DEL twice.

Disappointment with _______

2009-02-06T17:42:00.002+05:30

There are some many words that run through my head that can fill that blank after “Disappointment with ….”

What appalls the most is when you are disappointed most at the lack of sensitivity, about how you would react if you were in the same position –

What if you were the employee and not the boss
What if you were the customer and not the bank
What if you were the vendor and not the client
What if you were to give business and not execute
What if you were to hangout in someone’s corridor and the other shuns
What if you were the pragmatic and not the idealist

What if ….

.

Wading into 30’s

2009-01-20T21:58:00.011+05:30

As I savor the last few moments of being in the 20’s – quite a Lot of thoughts race through my mind.

I rewind to the winter of 1999 – yes – exactly about a decade ago – when I was celebrating my last birthday as a Graduate student; and somehow – I could just see my life laid out for the next 10 years – ala till today.

I made a list of things I wanted to do- the kind of jobs, the education, the money, the adventures, the splurges, the travel, the arts, the science, gyan et all – and when I look back – I see a lot of God’s Grace – for the simple fact – I got almost everything on that list (that landed right into my lap, needless to say –mostly undeserved – cos I know a hell lotsa smarter fellows around me who deserved much better). So there you go- the decade of my 20’s is in the high 90’s in terms of what I wanted Vs what I got.

What always perplexed me is - when I looked ahead as a 20 yr old – I could see my life for the next 10 yrs, and could see nothing beyond 30, and with some extrapolation till 35 – but realistically never beyond 35.

Now at the threshold of 30 – I still can’t look a day beyond – no Grand Plans – no laundry list, and just can’t see myself as a 40yr, 50yr, 60yr??

By usual standards, I have lived half my life (or maybe most of it) – and in this 30 odd years – I have made some good memories, good friends, been probably a 40% good son, 70% good brother, a better friend to the ones that matter, and an absolute cold one to those I wanted to keep at bay, and a loner to most family members.

Over the last 10 years, something’s that have not really changed about me are:

I was a loner, and still am a loner, who turns into an extremely animated guy with the few that are close to me (and they would bet I am NOT a loner)
I dispense Gyan - none who knows me now, saw me in my school – That was something!
I like driving, and can drive, drive, drive ……………..
I have specific tastes (most describe it as expensive :P)
I always dressed casual, but my nails are mostly manicured and my socks never stank
Had/have equal no. of girl and guy friends (okay – I take back that :P)
I hate khandaan functions
I like the house being without guests , when I come home at the end of the day
I like spending time with my family (my definition of family being parents, sibling and now sibling’s hubby and children) – this never did happen or at best very few times, as I am always in an eternal conflict with my folks definition of a family (kith and kin and etc) - I have a small group of 30 coming home tomorrow – that’s the family they talk about!
I am still single (:P) – ya – that will change soon :)
Big movie buff
Lots of books (ya I read M&B too ~ just for the record)

The things that changed a lot are:

My tolerance for non-sense has become sub zero ; except of course when it’s the question of my bread and butter
Almost stopped watching television
Gained weight – lost weight – gained weight –lost weight – gained weight (presently nice and round)
Like continental food to south Indian food
Coffee grew darker by the day
More grey hair
I don’t keep backup money in the wallet / car
I stopped writing verse except occasionally\

I pause and think – and I there is a blank block (I wish I could say a blank slate) as I look ahead, and like most birthday’s this one will also be one that will be celebrated on a “forced happy” note – In the last 10 years, I recollect about 3 birthdays that were fantastic and full of joy –

Steve’s surprise party while preparing for CAT 2003
Birthday at Delhi at Arjun’s house
Huh ??? - Just two ?

Into the 30’s, I enter on this note:

Tic toc
Tic toc
The never ending clock rolls
The mind and the heart to different tunes unfold
So much to see, do and to be told
Moments, minutes, hours into thin air roll
Tic toc
Tic toc

...and this (from b'day of 2007)

Unfulfilled Dreams

2008-12-16T22:23:00.005+05:30

You've been living in a dream world, Neo. This is the world as it exists today.... Welcome to the Desert of the Real. ~ The Matrix

And quite coincidentally, most of us live a life that is marred (err defined) by unfulfilled dreams. As humans, all of us dream, and dream we always of something thing much different than the state we have.

It’s quite intriguing that even in our wild fantasies, we define our dreams with an important element in it – Pain – Even in this new state of affairs, we very consciously count the cost of what we will not have in the new state – and that’s what surprises me. Even in a state of fantasy and wild day dreaming, we always count the cost!

I recall from another blog post that, we as humans are seasoned, equipped to deal and define our existence to start with and thereby the quality of life by the pain we are subjected to, the pain we can deal with, and the pain we can at will; can cause on another human being

Imagine the ‘now’, for someone living in hectic pace of a modern day city, commuting by the tube, having a job that pays a little over than needed for comfort, but deprived of any time to enjoy the very meal you slog for, and have not time to sit back, take a pause and smile. And then you imagine a world, far away from the noise, where we dream of the much needed time to sit back, take a pause and smile, and before we even finish knitting that dream, we are already counting the cost of missing the tube, the pub, the noise and the pay! Alas! – We are just where we begun, still counting the cost, and dreaming of another world where we dream of something thing much different from the state we have.

And then comes a moment, where there is no difference in the cost, and then we stop counting the cost, for it no longer matters, and will be in a state of dreamlessness, just to wake up with a jolt, that this was the world we actually dreamt about all along – and the cerebellum kicks in, and we start rationalizing between the desert of the real, and the imaginary world, and based on what we are willing to pay (either for the present or the future), there we go, into another dream world.

And then you walk in the glade, wondering about that moment when we indulged in the fruit of knowledge, that left us condemned with the consequences of a powerful brain, a mortal body and a frail will.

Dedicated to the girl I met just once, chatted a few times, but have more things in common than I gave time to think of. To Deepu - Dream on!

2nd Innings

2008-11-02T16:47:00.000+05:30

…and I am ready for the 2nd innings – I do not know how many innings are out there to play, maybe a couple more, a few more seasons, a lil more refining, a lot many dreams, make a few more stars twinkle, many more sunsets to be chased, a lot more to be learnt, much to be tempered, seasoned, pickled and then wake up early on a dreamless night and wonder, if another innings is round the corner.

I breathe hope, eat optimism, ride on passion and flirt with ‘Grace’. That is what I am – simple and candid.

..and here I am, standing, looking ahead, taking a peek back, and no regrets, but think something(s) could have be done differently, but no regrets, cos I got more than what I asked for, and a lot more than what I dreamt of, and more importantly – I am here writing this, and at the start of a 2nd innings.

A toast to all who have been at this moment before me, and a wish to all who are yet in their 1st innings – you will be here eventually!

I wish and dream a brilliant 2nd innings, but really don’t hold “brilliant” to it’s wonderful meaning – Just hope, that my post at the end of this innings retains a lots of what I am or have been thus far - breathe hope, eat optimism, ride on passion and flirt with ‘Grace’.

A Surreal Paradox

2008-10-17T20:17:00.001+05:30

..and yet again I laugh at the vilest and ancient of paradoxes, that leers even today

..for every time we get caught in an intellectual problem, we seek an answer from the heart and do what the heart says;

..and every time we get stuck in problem that originates out of the heart, we rationalize with the mind

..and in this, life is choked, the heart weeps and the mind drains, and yet again ever so often, we see the same paradox over and over again, right from the time it started in the Garden of Eden, when man thought with the mind for an obedience God demanded of the heart;

..and for the empathy we expect, and a shoulder to crib, when all we really needed was an intellectual solution

…and for the rational solutions we provide for the cries of the heart

..and when we really understand that; dropping these masks we wear, and reaching out to the heart with a heart, and to a mind with a mind, don’t we get moments of eternity right here on Earth? and ain’t not all the fondest of memories we treasure, a testimony to those moments?

..that’s why I guess, the body is left behind and the spirit only goes beyond the other shore, lest we succumb to the eternal paradox for eternity

EMI & Loan amortization Formula

2008-09-03T02:50:00.002+05:30

I realised that most who are searching for a EMI formula will not read a long blog -

To download the EMI / Loan Amortization Template and the formulae - click here

To read the descriptive blog about EMI / Loan Amortization - click here

.

Loan amortization schedule

2008-09-03T02:16:00.006+05:30

I walk into my home today to find a mail from my Banker - there is an increase of 150 Basis Points in the Home Loan interest rate - meaning, my house loan has increased by 1.5% - What stumped my the most is this - My House loan tenure is increased to 425 months from 240 months, keeping the EMI (Equated Monthly Installment / Amortization Money) constant.

It took about 2-3 minutes to understand that a 1.5% increase in house loan can actually almost double my repayment period - and needless to say, you would almost pay 80% than what you actually would have paid at the end of the agreed period - in my case 24 months.

There was no mathematical error - and the easier way to decrease my 80% additional payout is to increase my EMI by just about 8% a month.

At first, I took the easy way out asking uncle "Google" for the formula for amortization / calculate payout months with EMI constant, and for a surprise - I did not get any simple answers - There were some good Excel Templates on Microsoft site - but I wanted something as simple, that can explain to my dad, who thinks either the bank is a robber or the son is negligent based on his mood.

So to help other souls like me, I built a simple Excel Sheet to calculate the EMI show 2 variations.

1. The Interest Rate increases - (that's what we hear every day) - How much does my EMI increase, if I keep the repayment period constant. I have shown the analysis for about 250 basis points of positive variation ~ meaning 2.5% increase - Why 2.5% increase - If the increase is more than this - I think its cheaper to take a loan from the open market and close the loan :)

2. The EMI is kept constant - The repayment period is increased - my scenario at the start of the blog - and this does not look good at all - a 0.5% increase increase by payout by 80% !!!! - I have shown a variance of 250 basis points here too - you would notice, that if you enter large loan amounts and higher interest rates - the "No of Months" column throws an error - it's actually not an error - this only means that the number of months to repay runs beyond your expected life time and I guess no bank likes that :P - meaning you are forced to increase your EMI - ofcourse, the bank will increase it to the base minimum to match the last payment to your last salary - ahhahahhahaha

I hope the template is useful - you can download it here:

I can answer few questions - pls do not ask me on how to solve your financial problems - you need to pay me for that :)

Cheers!

Random tidbits about my workplaces

2008-09-01T14:55:00.002+05:30

Wipro had the fastest IT response time – under 2 mins – every time, all the time :) - Amazing
All most every single Finance / HR head across all the companies have been sacked / tried for either financial fraud or sexual abuse!!! – And all these companies have the longest essays on everything ‘ethical’
All but at one company (SumTotal) – I have seen people make-out or watch porn in the conference room
A comment that’s blog worthy

Working with XXXX is like reliving the dream of high school - except that....in high school it was fun, but a few years down the lane, you see it as being stupid and occasionally laugh at yourself....but it gets even more frustrating when you have to hear self appointed pompous asses who make a big deal of it - grow up guys!!!! Unfortunately... I am living that for now - just can't wait to get out of high school

No company ever gave a financial bonus to any employees, while each maintained at least 40% profit Y-O-Y
Across all companies – ‘hikes ‘ came before appraisals finished
Every company spoke more(good or bad) of their competitors than themselves
Nobody “apparently” had any attrition problems – hehehe

hahahahahha

2008-08-28T18:15:00.002+05:30

In Search of Excellence

2008-08-27T12:52:00.003+05:30

All of us, for a better part of our lives are in “search of excellence”, and at some point in time, we might take a pause, be content with what we have , or just become too complacent with the world around us –but even in that state of complacency we still look for a better state – Too bad, this running never stops – the quest for ‘higher ‘never ends.

And I guess the reason is this – the World we live in is defined by order – now before you can jump off saying it can be defined by chaos also, based on being of an alternate world view- Click here

Let me use a negative sounding word for this apparent search for excellence – “altered reality” – we all tend to live in an altered reality – Taking a rather mathematical approach to this altered reality -

How we choose the variables of altered reality define the way we progress in this helping us estimate how big this constant of alteration is (in simple words – how heavy or light) – reality my friend is rather easy – its staring right into our eyes.

Phew!

Go Ahead – curse the day you bunked math classes, and sulk about me that I spoil your happiness with such blogs – I am sure there are atleast 4 ppl who will try to solve this equation – God Bless them -J - Incidentally all of them are married :P

The Heaven’s beckon the knowledge quest

2008-08-26T18:07:00.000+05:30

Those closest to me, must have heard this many a times – my passion is Physics, and my career is Management – I was watching this program called – “Elegant Universe” - It left me wondering for a moment (well the whole evening), if I should have pursued Physics, got into research etc etc –but by the time I write this blog (a day later) – I am happy to sit and watch these programs and marvel at how Theoretical Physics has progressed and blah blah…

I guess I need a break :)

Order Vs. Chaos

2008-08-22T15:06:00.002+05:30

Scenario 1 -

The world is based on ‘Order’. ‘Order’ assumes perfection and perfection assumes a relentless quest for improvement – We mess this ‘Order’ – things mess up – We start working our way out of the mess –meaning – start progressing towards ‘Order’.

Scenario 2-
The world is defined as a ‘Chaos’ – and we are not grounded by any rules – after all, ‘Chaos’ cannot have any rules – but then a desire to have a something a little better kicks in – and we bring in some ‘Order’ to a small, chaotic part – meaning me are ruining the ‘Chaos’ by brining any ‘Order’ – or in ‘Order’ to maintain a perfect chaotic world, we need to ensure that the ‘Chaos’ remains – and anything that ensures that something remains in its state is ‘Order’ – meaning – ‘Chaos’ is a self destructing proposition. (That’s why I don’t believe in fate as it assumes ‘Chaos’ as a basis – while ‘Order’ assumes God –will deal about this in another blog)

This blog post is dedicate to Supriya, who I think holds the fastest comment record on my blog - under 30 secs :P

God must be having a headache!!

2008-08-22T13:11:00.001+05:30

Alas – poor him – human’s at least have a way out – they can pray to God – Poor God – what would he do?

No – this is not a mockery of God. This is what happened today morning at 4:30 AM.

Out of the blue (er black), there is this blast of really loud incantations, apparently to worship the local god of the area I live in – 4:30 AM – Phew – and I don’t think it’s pleasant for anyone, leave alone God for a nasal toned, yucky sounding babbling woman sing apparent praises to wakeup the deity !

My house is quite a distance from the nearby temple, but the volume – I guess could have bet a Rock Show “mics down” – and after 20 mins of crooning, comes along a dubbed tape of forced lyrics on a latest film track – I don’t know if the deity there were worshipping would have been pleased with this effort, but atleast some 200 families in 1 KM radius would have cursed both this lady, the temple and that deity who put-up with such nonsense.

Where does sense and sensibility go? – If you want to worship your deity –pls do – why cause a huge sound to everyone around at an un-godly hour??

iPhone in India

2008-08-20T09:27:00.004+05:30

At last - the much awaited day comes, when iPhone launches in India, and phew what a disappointment - It just costs 4 times more than in any other part of the World - A whopping 800$ !!! -

I always suspected that they would price it higher - but - 4 times? - India is the only market, where people spend almost double on a handset (in comparision to the same phone in other parts of the world) - The Govt levies 15% -20 % import duty - that cost being added to the phone is understandable. But 4 times ?? and guess what - it would be locked to a network too!

The rationale Vodafone and Airtel give is that they would not subsidize the phone - unlike US telecom players - but I still get a phone that is locked, and also need to have a 2 year contract - What the f&^#? I am paying 100% or may be 200% the value of the phone - I should be allowed to do whatever I want with it !

I have been acting noble not buying a jailbreaked phone, with a respect for the manufacturer that they have produced a truly good phone - but now - jailbreaked is the way - 200$ for the phone in any damm country, and spend nothing or as little as 20$ to jailbreak it and I get an iphone at peanuts.

...and idiots wonder why India has a huge grey market - it would be fun to buy the same for around 20K in the grey market - I bet 2 months, and you will get iphones from grey market home delivered.

Long live the grey market :)

Life in the fast lane

2008-08-19T22:14:00.002+05:30

The title overflows of adrenalin, excitement, energy and looks like the best lane to be – after all, the fastest lane has the best of everything – the smoothest road, the fastest cars, the biggest brands and whiff of envious air that gets past the vipers as you zoom by ….

…and we all endeavor for it, and run the mile as much as possible, and as close as possible to the fast lane.

However, the irony is that – does the fastest lane have all of that we really think and aspire to have? – We run so fast trying to save time, and get an extra ounce of everything possible with the myth that we will have all the time at the end of the road, to enjoy the fruits of time gained by being in the fast lane.

I think what we really do in the fast lane is build safety nets - We are on an overdrive of infinite planning.

Let’s take the Naturalist view – Evolution! – Evolution defies a safety net – if there is a safety net of peaceful existence, Evolution fails, and all of us would have ended at the primordial or even worse a unicellular level – so – no safety net in Evolution.

Let’s take the Agnostic view – Knowledge! – Knowledge is at an infinitum, and since we can’t master all knowledge, we cannot really plan for the perfect safety net! – Phew – safety net is wafer thin in this view.

Let’s take the Rebel’s view – Critique – The basis of reason is in the statement of a problem – and if the problem is solved in its entirety – reason has no more a base to stand on – in simple words –reason self destructs in the absence of a problem – and a safety net is created (as a fall back) for a (anticipated) problem – so if reason prevails – safety net dissolves – if reason fails – well does safety net really stand ? Your reasoning was wrong - J - Safety net is a mythical bubble here.

Finally, let’s take the Theist’s view –Faith - Now if you say that you believe in God – you should not have a safety net – You need to stand in Faith, for God, the Omniscient, Omnipotent & Omni Present should have thought and planned a way for you and you really do not need a safety net! – If you are infinitely worried and labor continuously creating a safety net, then you defy your faith, and you turn into an Atheist!

So what is the end of it all?– simple – Slow down – take a breather – absorb the light – enjoy the ride – and for fun – floor the pedal once a while, but don’t lose out on life itself by trying to be always in the fast lane – after all, it’s called the fast lane, bcos there are slower lanes beside it ?
I thank my God for I know, He has a plan for me, and a plan for my Good. I end on this note – Does your God have a plan for you? Pause and Ponder.

the Bitch

2008-08-19T17:46:00.006+05:30

It’s rather sad that I need to break my non-writing spree with a blog post titled “the Bitch”.

As you would have guessed, it would not be a pleasant blog, and I abhor writing such negative things about any human in general, but then, you get provoked, fingered (no pun intended), and push the limits of forbearance, and Voila – out comes a post – simply called “the Bitch”

Interestingly, bitch as commonly understood is not a derogatory term used for the female kind – but, alas, this post is unfortunately not about a guy!

Let’s define the characteristics of ‘the Bitch’

She would think she is the love of every heart, by her loud talk – seldom does she realize that many a times people don’t even hear her beyond the first sentence – and wait for the endless babble to end – has not anyone heard – a loud mouthed woman is hated by everyone including women?
She would think that she is got the best of all worlds, and command power – while in reality, people are poignant to a point, she is not worth beyond the current fling (situation) and at best return to her just for another fling – this does not mean, people want her – they just don’t want her – point in fact – you don’t make love to ‘the bitch’ – you don’t say it either - you just indulge as to your whim and gratification of the ‘now’
She can crib, and crib she will – for her life is at best a few inches deep (again no pun intended) – and all that can come of such (s)hallow(ness) – is lots of noise – the sad part is – no one would even bother telling that – for a simple reason – she is ‘the Bitch’
She can never find love, and love will never find her - for the true nature of love is to give and take without a degree of self righteousness and how often do you meet ‘the bitch’ who does not think she is god ! (megalomania is truly personified in ‘the bitch’ – and the reason is – that when you rebel(find fault) against everything possible, you lose your right o rebel)
She rides on the circle of pontification, to a point that there is no reason in what she does, and reason does elude and then emotions creep in, and the whole mess gets personal – and that’s when people slap her out (again no pun intended) and just give a hysterical pitiable laugh at ‘the bitch’

….and there she lies in darkness only she can feel, and a darkness only she enjoys in her disdained state of love – love – eh – none for ‘the bitch’

India Wins Gold at Olympics

2008-08-11T10:16:00.001+05:30

Pissed off ? Upset ?

2008-05-28T18:54:00.001+05:30

The difference between being pissed off and being upset is; you breathe out through your nostrils in the former, and breathe into your head in the later.

Life @ Business

2008-05-20T13:09:00.002+05:30

Rationals do business
Irrationals keep discussing business
Obtuse keep bargaining

Mirage

2008-02-22T11:14:00.003+05:30

Ever so many times, does the feeling of “an infinite longing to a brilliant life bounded by finite capacity” is what knocks us down, more so with an increasing tempo and a greater urge to have more, with every passing day; as we chase the ticking clock of the heart, the mind and the body thereof.

That longing for certainty (in the heart), sense of control (in the mind) and endurance (of the body) pushes us into a mindset of where we seem to believe (or rather strived / strive infinitely) that we know almost everything about everything. Can we really be certain about anything at all?

There seem to be so many answers for everything that could possibly be questioned about, except that – (most often) We do not know , what is the question that is really bothering us – and there we plunge into the depths of philosophy(to the heart) , causality(to the mind) and pain (to the body) to place ourselves into of the following paradigms –

Why am I here (heart)
What am I doing (mind)
How long (body)

Now, these paradigms sound like the most basic of questions that pass before us a thousand times every day, but seem to change in meaning with every passing moment – the answers seem to be changing at a gazillion times faster than the questions themselves!

There are voids, there are holes, there are craters and what fills each of these at different points in time, defines us as to what we are, in that time frame against the vast reference of the infinite clock.

What am I today – a sojourner in a desert of infinite ideas, thirsting for questions, that settle the soul in the cool calm of knowing that the way counts.

Dedicated to my friend Chitra - Battle on dear :)

Hyperbole

2008-02-08T08:25:00.000+05:30

I was thinking of all the offbeat statements, I heard about me – rather funny, interesting and hmm a hyperbole.

One of my (girl)friends describing me to her boy friend – John is really sweet, extremely chivalrous, just is there when you need him very pally, and you can trust him always not to take advantage of you, and does not hit on anyone or every – very very sweet –
The Hyperbole - Her friend – sure he is not Gay? …nah just asking :)

One of my colleagues discussing me over coffee – How can this guy be so cold and calculating (hmmm.. I mean in a positive way), and get away with utter indignation to rules, and yet win people at work? Huh!!
The Hyperbole - Reaction – he is just an asshole who is difficult to hate – reason, bugger is intelligent (that I still am to figure out if he really is!!)

Whoa man – this fella is equipped with so many facts – he knows his subject and takes people to task –
The Hyperbole – Hello – I really think he is successful because he has better (English) language skills.

How can you think like this – I wish I was as analytical as you – Can you help me leran this thinking thing?
The Hyperbole (in the same breath) –actually, I am glad I cant – you actually are a potential terrorist – you just went to Sunday school a lil too long.

He always calls me just when needed, and seems to be there ever in the nick of time.
The Hyperbole – Actually, he is very lazy to write a mail – ever tried getting a letter from him ?? You see!

He drives really well, and really fast and very skilled
The Hyperbole – He just can’t seem to accept the fact that another car can be ahead of him - :P

Alone

2008-02-07T12:41:00.000+05:30

After a long long time, a really long time – I feel alone - The word is alone, and not exactly lonely!

It maybe the set of events over the last 2 weeks, where I was the only soul in a 600 seater movie hall, or finally getting bugged of living and working out of a hotel / home for the last 8 months, and not made any new friends, and in general everyone including me have got a lil more busy with life.

It maybe that my intolerance to nonsense and general lack of intelligence in everything that kept a lot of people at bay

It may be that I just need someone for more than a friend

It may be that you want to share a hundred new ideas, but don’t find one to intellectually debate, but in a role where I am only mentoring a few promising souls

It may be I got lazy in life to do something refreshing

It may be that I am bereft of sleep for the last 2 nights and …

Still – alone :)

Zephyr

2008-02-06T04:54:00.000+05:30

After ‘Glade’, it’s the gentle breeze that really refreshes - I start quoting this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Maryanne Williamson

Ever wondered how simply we brush the idea of a fairy with tiny little wings, and yet in our deepest of hearts wished we had one lil fairy that we could hide – what is it that really scares us? – the “stupidness” of the fairy or the possibility of immense power, if it be real?

Most often than not, what stops us from being what we want to be is - our fear of what we can really possibly be – when was the last time we really woke up scared that our big dreams might become a reality? Well – if it is a long time – we have already killed a great deal of ourselves!

What is life if we cannot dream a dream that can scare us to the possibility of it being a reality – as for everything else that makes us feel nice and comfortable – well, there are 6 Billion others, whom you have for friends – or just be that one, who can have his/her identity as one unique individual.

Do I mean to say – Go ahead, everyone be successful – nah – you see the quote above really defines success in perspective – in our OWN perspective !

It’s about time to let the light shine, and let the soul awaken and breathe easy – you know what it does? – you will become the Zephyr. (P.S – I hate the idea of a GOD of wind but use the word for the context)

Glade I wonder, Zephyr I be !

Those closest to my heart call me Whirlwind !

Dedicated to Nada – get you small wings dear :)

Glade

2007-12-21T11:47:00.000+05:30

Alas for that moment when man ate of the fruit of knowledge, that he was condemned with the consequences of a powerful brain, a mortal body and a frail will.

….and so did the eternal quest for the quenching of an insatiable cerebellum continues, only to be subdued by occasional spurts of clouded happiness; most of which is a result of blinded reality to reality – the only reality being – you are a sojourner and there is really no rest to the head, and consequently to the body, emotions and everything thereof.

…and walking the beaten path or treading along unchartered territory, you will still hold points of references, for what? – Lest we have to retract, or milestones that subdue reality of a time being, to recharge for continuing winding journey ahead.

…and there comes along an Oasis, (that) we look with joy, and almost always later leave into the desert with spite – Is it really spite? – At best they a seen as a spring in the desert (literally) while the journey is really out in the sands.

…and comes the Glade – in the thicket of woods, where order seems to suddenly seem intrinsic, till the howl of the night, shakes it into perspective, that we are really out in the woods.

…and at the end of it all – the quest to do something new, something good, and leave a trail and leave a mark – you are back to where you have actually started – to eating more of the fruit of knowledge, only to be condemned again to the consequences of a powerful brain, a mortal body and a frail will.

…Glade I wonder, Glade I love, Glade I learn from, Glade I run

…and

Smart Ass @ Work

2007-11-20T07:00:00.001+05:30

Work and Internet

2007-11-20T06:58:00.000+05:30

Comment ca va?

2007-11-07T09:13:00.000+05:30

A post after a long time – for those who know me well, they must be wondering how come the cranking sound of thoughts sounded so silent for so long a time, and ah from John – is everything alright?

As I look back over the hiatus, something I really learnt to appreciate (or rather embrace) – silence. Silence, something that needs no words sometimes and avoids words sometimes, and both have their place and time.

In this period of silence, I have seen “adults” write me off, as being naïve, “happening” guys give gyan about life, “morally upright” sign me off as evil, professional equations change based on perceptions, personal equations change based on impressions of “accomplishment possible”, and a few (for whom I remained the same) for whom nothing else mattered, even silence.

Ecoute le silence – a French phrase I use occasionally, and it just about sounds so good – The literal translation of the same – “Hear the silence”.

In what seems to be a tumultuous rage of changes, memory echoes a profound statement, ironically set in the worst chaos mankind has seen – “Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it’s the courage to continue that counts.” (Churchill)

Meet the American Indians

2007-10-15T21:07:00.000+05:30

I really really hope that the words “American Indian” is considered as a racist term, and I wanna call a lot of desi babus here by that name.

It’s funny to meet the breed out here – Most guys from the land of Gult (50%) and the rest are Mallus, Tams and North Indians.

You need to answer the following 3 questions, or have a placard, that you can handover to all “American Indians”
1. What Visa are you on
2. How long in the US
3. What’s your Salary

The answers to these questions decide how you will be treated, and how long you will be spoken to, and how many times you can probably call!

Visa / Length of Stay –
Essentially, if you are on a short stay, you will be kept at bay – everyone lives with this morbid fear that, you will cling on to them, and suck their blood out, and ask for favours! Even responses about locale are guarded – The stranger on the street, is much more responsive!

Once they know you are not on a H1 / L1 – every alternate guy offers deals on how to get a H1.

The following are some of them.

1. I know an agent – He will get you a H1 – The yearly commission ranges between 10%-35% of Annual Salary
2. Want a green card – (phew this is what surprised me the most) – Get married to a Resident (American Indian) – Cost - $ 10,000 - Contract Marriage, both parties will not touch each other – Get the Green Card and file for Divorce!!!!

$ Rules
There is an infinite obsession with how much money you can make, and everyone is on a one point agenda of making more money, saving more. The average Indian out here is in the top 5 percentile of US earnings (an American family makes half as much as an average underpaid Indian in IT), but with a catch – ‘American Indians’ live like beggars – This is what a cabby had to say (btw most cabby’s are Punjabi’s and live much better than ‘American Indians’). Most Americans hate ‘American Indians’ cos they stink! – The cabby says, yeh sale log tho deo karidne ke liye bhi hazar bar soch the hain. Itney paise bacha ke, kya kar re ga. Theen Char saal ke baad be, har ek cheese ka price ko Rupees mein convert kar ke spend karthe hain!!” Upne India ka naam barbad karthe hain.

So there you go! – If they know you earn a lot more than them- you are stay away material (material of contempt) and will immediately get a comparative chart of all pay packs across the top 10 Indian employers in the US.

If they know you earn a lot less –you are looked down as a loser, and again stay away material, with the fear that you might ask them for money!!!

If you earn as much as they do, well, they wanna hang out with ppl who are better off than them !!!

But then, there are those couple of people who are still the nice good ones – who still have a stable head – Some have become completely American, some take pride in being an Indian – but they interact and connect with you, as a human, and not because based on Visa / $ status. A couple of them to call once a while is all that you need to get a head start in this place.

What stands in contrast to ‘American Indians’ is the Chinese / Japanese / Korean communities – Need to learn a lot from them.

P.S: A couple of my settled Indian friends (the nice ones) have taken it on them to get me married – some girl – Tall, slim, and beautiful – Masters, Christian etc……….

Single, available and in the US

2007-10-15T20:03:00.000+05:30

Well, like I stated it many times – You can do well in India (both numerically and otherwise), and it does not always mean that only the best go to the land of infinite promises, but a few choose to stay back too.

Here I am, in usa-puram (like I called it all along) and much to the disappointment of many people back home, I am not the excited jack, pumping excitement.

Touch down at Newark – the first thought that crosses my mind – Hey John, you are in the US – Single, available and not sleepy. The single part is important, and has a small history to it.

Rewind to the winter of 2000 – Young (ya really young), the flamboyant yuppie of a PM, chosen against all odds to head to the US, to be the guy to manage the new line of business, the company had bet its money on.

Standing in the simmering heat of Chennai, outside the American Consulate, even before I entered the fortified building, a strange thought crossed my head – You will not go to the US till you are married. Really strange, I thought.

45 Minutes later, I am heading out of the consulate, with a “potential immigrant” stamp on my passport, for the consulate officer saw no reason why I would come back to India, after asking 3 ‘important ‘ questions. Age, Pay and the Title of the job. And many a times, somehow many trips got planned- I backed out on some and logistics backed out on some! So, somewhere I thought, hmm, maybe that feeling was right.

Now, settled in, joined a gym, renting cars, driving 300 miles for fun, got in touch with some real old friends (after 7 years!!), and lots more.

I hope that I will blog every day from now ,and some video and picture blogs are underway

Moving Ahead

2007-09-11T12:01:00.000+05:30

The best thing about “Moving Ahead”, is that there is movement, and there is a hope for the future. The irony is that, there is a sense of negativity built around the word, and the general feeling of it.

Quite a few changes have taken place over the last 1 month, and I hear these words – move ahead, moving ahead, things will be fine etc.

Ya, time to act, time to be a lil nice to myself. I pray, I wish, I hope, I look ahead, I miss .. :)

Don’t really know about silver linings in the clouds – I wanna enjoy the clouds as much, and yes ……… ..........

Feel alive at last….

2007-09-05T13:48:00.000+05:30

Maybe I just expect too much, or I really live well, or my standards are high, or most of the world is just mediocre, or maybe I have become paranoid, or maybe I am missing a few intimate ones very much, or maybe I am having initial blues, or maybe I should have waited for sometime, or maybe I am in a hurry, or maybe…..

All these questions were playing on my mind, a few still playing…

The answer is – I really don’t know. Finally, I feel a little alive – got internet access, messengers on, and at least feel that I can ping and contact a few with a few key strokes.

P.S:Moved to Mumbai – New Job – Will shortly move to USA Puram

Do You Have a Dirty Mind?

2007-08-29T16:54:00.000+05:30

Your Mind is PG-13 Rated

Your mind is definitely a little dirty. You're naughty, but not trashy.
You don't shy away from a dirty joke, and you're clearly not a prude.

Do You Have a Dirty Mind?

How Worldly Are You?

2007-08-29T16:53:00.001+05:30

You Are Very Worldly

You're an international jet setter - or pretty darn close.
And while you may feel like you have many more places to visit...
Most people live their whole lives without seeing what you've seen.
In fact, you're probably going to be traveling again soon. So Bon Voyage!

How Worldly Are You?

How Much Sex Appeal Do You Have?

2007-08-29T16:49:00.001+05:30

You Are 89% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Off the Charts!

Let's face it... you're one of the sexiest people around. And you don't let anyone forget it.
You're crazy hot, and you deliver on what you promise. You are definitely one wild ride.

How Much Sex Appeal Do You Have?

Are You Running on Adrenaline?

2007-08-29T16:47:00.001+05:30

You Are Running on 66% Adrenaline

Your Adrenaline Level: Borderline Dangerous

You're running around so fast, you don't realize how quickly life is passing you by.
While you may be getting a lot done, you're on the go lifestyle is probably wearing you out.

Are You Running on Adrenaline?

Are You An Optimist or Pessimist?

2007-08-29T16:46:00.001+05:30

You Are an Optimist

You definitely see the sunny side of life, even when things aren't going so great.
And while you may not be a realist, your optimism has really improved your quality of life.
You have the energy to take charge, solve your problems, and enjoy life for what it is.
Optimists are happier and healthier - so keep thinking positive!

Are You An Optimist or Pessimist?

Are You Prejudiced?

2007-08-29T16:40:00.000+05:30

You Are Not Prejudiced

Not only are you color blind, but you're also ethnicity blind, gender blind, and sexual orientation blind.
You don't judge someone until you truly know them. And even then, you're probably reluctant to judge.
You try to treat everyone equally. Everyone has a fair chance with you.
Good job - there's not a prejudiced bone in your body.

Are You Prejudiced?

Could You Be Violent?

2007-08-29T16:36:00.000+05:30

There's Not a Violent Bone in Your Body

You're cool and collected, even when someone really gets under your skin.
And while you don't blow up when you're angry, you know how to express your anger calmly.
You don't bottle emotions up or let them get out of control. For you, violence would never be an option.

Could You Be Violent?

How Do Your Kisses Rate?

2007-08-29T16:34:00.001+05:30

Your Kissing Grade: A+

You are truly an amazing kisser. Your kisses are extraordinarily mind blowing.Whether you're naturally a good kisser or not, you've taken the time learn how to be the best kisser possible.Anyone would be lucky to get a kiss from you!

How Do Your Kisses Rate?

What Color Crayon Are You?

2007-08-29T16:28:00.000+05:30

You Are a Yellow Crayon

Your world is colored with happy, warm, fun colors.
You have a thoughtful and wise way about you. Some people might even consider you a genius.
Charming and eloquent, you are able to get people to do things your way.
While you seem spontaneous and free wheeling, you are calculating to the extreme.

Your color wheel opposite is purple. You both are charismatic leaders, but purple people act like you have no depth.

What Color Crayon Are You?

Silence

2007-08-29T16:09:00.000+05:30

I cherish silence, but when I am all alone. I enjoy silence with a loved one - its soothing and one of the best things to share. To me silence, is when words are not required to speak, and everything understood. Words render themselves rather useless.

But there are moments I hate silence; when silence does not soothe, and is replaced by “no conversation”. I would rather prefer someone showing me the finger, or vent out than be quiet.

Some things I still can’t sleep over are when there is no conversation, or when there are unanswered questions.

Long for the shared brilliant silence – not the ‘silent no conversation’.

In the ebb

2007-08-29T01:38:00.000+05:30

Words never cease to amaze me, and how there are so many different words to express the great myriad of constantly (?) changing human emotions!

I wonder many times, what about people who really do not have a good vocabulary? Does having a limited vocabulary mean that the person has fewer emotions to deal with?

If Yes – Whoa!
If No – Then s/he will express different emotions in the same way, there by; no one really knows what s/he is really going through!

Now let’s take the converse:
Great Vocabulary – specific words to express every thing – Whoa!
But, how many out there really understand every single word? End result - no one really knows what s/he is really going through!

:)

What irony!

And there are moments, when words just fail. You want to speak, but really do not know what to speak – All that you really want is a calm assurance saying – it’s okay, and know that you are just off at this moment.

2 places where this assurance comes from –

First - God – for He knows everything, controls the times, and can bless you with peace as long as you seek His presence and bow in His presence to His Holy Will. And He loves you, has far more Grace & Patience than we can ever imagine.

Second - Close friends - for they are the ones who can hug you and still love you just the same, even though you are down on a bad day.

As much as with the title – The words just surfaced out of no-where!
Much lighter now – I sleep

Bomb Blasts in Hyderabad

2007-08-25T22:44:00.000+05:30

Angry, sad and fail to understand what these idiots achieve by bombing public places- and how they take pride in killing innocent people who would have not wronged them, or know anything about whatever justified or unjustified cause they hide behind.

I hate how News Channels jump to quick conclusions, and think about hiking up TRP ratings by reporting unverified news.

It's soothing when friends call or message and ask just one lil question - Are you safe? Nice to hear you speak and hang up, and not ask a million questions. Just shows that they were not gathering additional news.

What a Moron I am

2007-08-23T01:09:00.000+05:30

That's all to this post... post midnight, berift of sleep, you expect anything better.

I hate myself at this point in time.

Changing times

2007-08-21T23:07:00.000+05:30

That's all to the post!

Nonsense!

2007-08-14T23:16:00.000+05:30

I have tolerated nonsense for a tad too long – and yes, I guess, it’s about time to wrap up a few things.

The week that has gone by, I have seen how petty people can be, how magnanimous can bullshit be made to look, and how changing logic and reason, succumbing to the pressure of time (and a whole lot of things) can be coated with a layer of dripping louve (read this).

I am in a demolition mood, but thanks to a couple of good friends – blood is spared. Every time I try to think on anything from passé, my mind leaps a few years ahead into life, and of how things will be – Never really have looked back on the past with spite or benevolence!

…and for the first time – I feel – I should get extremely selfish about what I want, what I want to do, and what I don’t want to do, and there by place the world and everything and everyone into that paradigm – Why – The pain will be less!

The way I am – I give in more than myself into what I do (~work) and with a few people I care about. End of the day – does it really matter – Why do I behave like a peace maker, and burn myself almost as in retribution?

Have any decisions been taken – YES and NO – just on a watch – a week more and it is done.

The only thing that still bothers me, and will bother me I guess – is an unanswered question – and I go to any lengths to get the answer – The answers never really bothered me – Good or bad- I like and appreciate a candid response, for in a candid response, an immense trust is demonstrated and the answer will not really pain, more than a dishonest answer, or even worse, no answer.

Remembering what Swami Vivekanada said– Arise, awake and stop not till the goal is reached!
Phew - for once, Goals seem to take a back seat!

Flickering flame

2007-08-11T23:14:00.000+05:30

A flickering flame is the worst thing - you toggle between hope and disdain, between logic and reality, between the now and the when, and between why and the how?

~ John 2007

It's really all about you

2007-07-29T19:41:00.000+05:30

Yes! At the end of the day, it’s really all about you, you, you alone. The “I, me, myself” surfaces from Hades, from behind the many faces we wear which is an amalgam of education, civilization, co-existence and obligation. And somewhere in all of this, is juxtaposed, something we call hope – hope that originates from a deep down spark of real truth – A truth that defines logic, builds faith and the fire that really drives us – and in saner days sans the obscurity, we know, we speak, we live and we do things that really just gravitate to one focal point – YOU

The question resounds – At the end of the day, what is that one thing that defines you?

Have I lost all hope and hence sound cynical – I remember the madman running the streets of ancient world – shouting –

…. who lit up a lantern in the radiant hours of morning, ran into the market place, and cried out: “I seek God! I seek God!” – Since many of the people who did not believe in God were gathered there, he provoked a great deal of laughter. Is he lost? Asked one. Has he lost his way like a child? Asked another. Is he hiding? Is he afraid of us? Has he departed on a long voyage? Or has he emigrated? – Thus they howled and laughed.

The madman leapt into their midst, piercing them with his stare. “Where has God gone?” he cried out; “I will tell you: we have killed him – you and I have killed him. We are all his murderers. But how could we have done this? How did we manage to drink away the ocean? Who gave us the sponge with which we wiped away the horizon? To where is it moving now? To where are we going? Running away from all the suns? Are we not continually plunging down? Backwards, Sidewards, Forwards, in all directions? Does any up or down remain?

"Are we not groping our way in an infinite nothingness? Do we not feel the breath of the empty spaces? Has it not become colder? Is there not night and ever more night? How do we manage to console ourselves, we master-assassins? Who is going to wipe the blood off our hands? Must not we ourselves become gods to make ourselves worthy of such a deed? (Extract from Fredrick Nietzsche – Essay – Dead God)

When it all boils down to the single “you”, that explains most of life’s problem.

Hang on! – Before I can answer that, these questions demand to be voiced out. How can you say, its all about “I, me, myself” - Are we really that selfish – Don’t we love, don’t we give in so fully, aren’t we ready to even die for a few, do we not sacrifice great many dreams for others, do we not forsake great pleasures, leave behind wealth?

Surprisingly the madman gives us a profound answer – when all things around us are forsaken and we say – its all about me – the essence of what we are saying is – I am the GOD of myself – The only one who is capable of extinguishing GOD is one who can be GOD him/her self – and thats what we have become.

And after a few moments of indulgence as God – Void sets in, for we cannot fill the space of a mighty ocean, or the brilliant sky - leave alone the heavenly bodies – can’t fill the void in the self –And at the moment, something emerges – Love, giving, sacrifice, bonding, growing, life, meaning, faith, hope and the spark, and we are fulfilled – no more “I, Me Myself”, but surprisingly, we get a lot more of the “I” than we ever imagined.

In the endless cycle of life – 4 questions need to be answered coherently –

Where have I come from?
Where am I going?
What the purpose of life?
What does salvation mean?

I end on this note – even the bravest among us rarely has the courage what he alone knows! (Forgot who quoted this)

Reality is – at the end of the day, its still about you, though in a different paradigm.

~ to life – Johnnie - 2007

Life on mortgage

2007-06-26T16:27:00.000+05:30

Dreams, hope, love, relationships, career and a thousand other words and their interplay with bold italic words of being responsible, planning ahead, negotiating well, sharp thinking, selling etc, all just to get ahead in the rat race, a little more push in the career, and little more in life, a few more dollars, a few more smiles and then will pause and take the sip of gratification and pause, and then take some rest.

... and then that one thing that has been justified by a million words, every day with a passing finesse of every vaporizing moment comes knocking on - at what price, at what cost?

... a few moments of happiness, a few moments of pleasure, a few moments of living, a few moments of being nice, a few moments of sipping off the vintage wine that we brewed over tears and toil are all lost for eternity for sure, a one moment a time.

The mirage scintillates in the shimmer of hope and the promise of a new day, that we'll live, not pay the cost anymore, reduce the price and start living - but once you get a little closer, the mirage flees and the shimmering appears again - In all this, we wake up angry every day, have become critical to a point that we forget that we exist and see the world from a diminished height and a shallow depth, have reduced life to numbers, numbers in salary, numbers in age, numbers in marks, where life progresses on - though where, I question.

... suddenly you realize that you are 25, 30, 40, 50, 60 and may be staring at death - and regret that you have been dying all along, and death is just the cruel joke that is laughing at you saying, did you really deserve to live, you have forgotten - and reality dawns !

How many days, moments, achievements, jobs, qualifications, friends, family members are there that we can look back upon and smile to ourselves a smile of gratification!

What a pity, life is on a mortgage - a mortgage that doesn’t diminish but accrued with every passing day!
Life on a mortgage!

Work and Pleasure

2007-06-14T10:21:00.000+05:30

Mixing work with pleasure will strip pleasure of its pleasurability - the
converse? what converse?

The Comeback

2007-06-11T14:59:00.001+05:30

Whats important to me is that you get up after falling, and not live with the fear of falling again! I love taking risks, I dont mind losing the game, and I am happy to lose too - but in the end, will get up, run and win.

After all if everyone adopts the philosophy of the fear of losing, and playing it safe, there will be none left to play - none - N-O-N-E.

I am happy that the world is full of morons and a few sane people - All sane people would make the world truly moronic.

I am back - Cheers!

Courage

2007-06-11T12:26:00.000+05:30

Courage is the ability to accept the way you are, every time and all the time.

Let’s take this scenario from the movie Ta ra rum pum:

Xai: Why can't the parents tell the kids that they are broke? Do they think that the kids can’t understand and handle the truth?

WW: Well, it’s not a question of whether the kids can understand or not, but the parents cannot handle the truth and hence are afraid and think the kids can’t handle it.

That’s the truth of the matter - Most often than not, when we hold back an opinion or camouflage a situation to sound "politically right" or just “stay quiet”, thinking the other person cannot handle the truth, the reality of the fact is that, we do not have the courage to face it up, and really deal with it, and pass it off as the other person not ready to handle it.

Well, an argument can be made, that it’s not always that way with all - I disagree - the fact that you thought about some person with regards to a matter, is proof enough that person is a stakeholder and you cannot really solve the situation by staying quiet. All that you manage to do is insult the other person’s judgment with a myopic view, and also cringe within that you were not able to say what you wanted to say.

Sooner or later, the other person will know what was not said - and hmmm, I am sure, it’s always been, the other person handled it better than you ever imagined.

Well - Courage! Who was the coward?

I end on the same note:
Courage is the ability to accept the way you are, every time and all the time, and have the guts to look into your own soul, there by letting you look deep into someone's eye.

Dedicated to Anita, who wanted me to write on Courage a long long time ago...
~ to life - John 2007

Drained

2007-06-08T23:28:00.000+05:30

Drained, drained & drained – nothing drains me more than having to convince that I am honest about something, and after a time, all that you can hope is, that you will be seen from outside the mess.

I do not subscribe to the karmic cycle, but one thing I definitely believe – You Screw Up – You Pay Up.

I realize that I see things from a long term both ways – a long term of events that shaped me up, my situations, my everything, and a forward view of what things can be, hope of better things, and always a smile in the stride – However, something that does not really change is the way I behave by the – point-in-time of how I feel.

At present, I am just drained – I hope for a smile to shine through in the morning.

~ to myself, John 2007

Obituary

2007-06-07T21:31:00.000+05:30

A part of me is dead – A part of me! It’s not a side (~intellectual / emotional / romantic / philosophical / mathematical / physical / spiritual / professional / educational / behavioral / musical / dramatic / foolish / funny / serious etc) of me but a PART of me.

My heart weeps and the mind mourns the death of it, as it feels and tries to come to terms with the death – Had it been a side of me, things would have been clear, easy and composed.

Like all death, I will mourn for sometime, and life goes on.

What’s important is that there is a huge part that is alive. I will not brood on finding out what is dead – cos, the more you dig into what’s dead, the stinky and rotten it gets. Unfortunately, you cannot awaken what’s dead, but can grow back into being the ‘full of life’. I am glad that life is like that, at least till we die physically.

These are the words that have been ringing in my head for the last couple of hours, and the fact that I pay tribute to death; I guess a part of me is really dead.

~ To death, John 2007

No - Just a Plain No

2007-06-05T23:33:00.000+05:30

I have realised that most often, we complain that we really did not have a choice, succumbed to pressure, or had to be politically correct, or had to take a stand in favour of the tilted-weighted circumstances, and saying a "No" was impossible and by default seen as wrong.

After a series of meetings today at office, and some rather stupid arbitrary intellectual orgasms and a plethora of reasons why somethings are justified as being right, despite the facts screaming other wise, and some anecdotes from personal experience, I believe this is the primary problem.

We do not really have the courage and the conviction to say a 'No' to our self, before we take an external stance. I guess, dealing with a binary answer at a microcosm level of self, demands the greatest of faith and courage (unfortunately) in our own self.

We are bred and live in a world where we strive to get an approval for every thing that we do, and somewhere compete, constantly battle the fear of a loss, and run the endless race of something better awaiting further ahead, and dangle between reality, hope, aspiration, logic, rationality and truth in that order.

For once I end my blog with an open ended question - Can you say 'yes' to your conviction of a 'no' and not feel afraid of your conviction, and have the courage to say a 'No' to yourself, the external world?

Why do we really gain by saying 'yes' against all this?

~to death John 2007

Borrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

2007-06-02T09:08:00.000+05:30

I am so bloody bored in life - Too bored to even blog - Thankfully, there are books.

Work is going great guns - But Bored
Too little entertainment in the world - So Bored
Gyan Giving - Too Boring
Gyan Receiving - Hmm - Any Gyan on How not to be bored? Boring!
Friends - The ones I wanna Hang Out with are out of town or Busy - Others are Boring
Relatives - Borrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed
Church - I am now officially on the 'watch out dude - rebel list' - Bored
Flings, ONS - Not interested - Bored
Short term romance - hmmm - does that exist? Bored
Long term romance - by the time latitudes, longitudes, wave lengths, conduction, entropy, dimensions etc fall in place............ - huh - Bored (for readers with lesser IQ - Latitude + Longitude = Demographics, Wave Lengths = Compatibility (not someone you can get bored of / whom you can spend endless time with, without they getting on to your nerves), Conduction = That warm feeling that can pass through air, without necessary physical contact, and make you feel nice, Entropy = lil complex to explain - leave it, I am already bored, dimensions = length, breath, volume, texture, tone, colour etc etc...
Family - hmmm at present, one point agenda - marriage - these discussions start animated and end up boring you to death - Bored
Games - Ahem - Can forget boredom for 5 hours - afterwards - Bored
Long Drives - Bike yes, Car hmmm...bored
Eating - huh ? BORING
Sleeeping - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz whoa - deadliest of bores
Call random numbers - hmmm, want one unknown phone friend - talking is boring too
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
Bored
................................

Lineage of patience

2007-05-21T22:35:00.000+05:30

How is that we have the greatest of patience with everything else in the world except ourselves, our parents, our realtives, our bosses and then our friends in that order.

Phew - Yes God is outside(~above) this list.

~ John

Unfinished Business

2007-05-21T15:51:00.000+05:30

This started out as a real looooooooooooooooooooooooooong blog post on so many things that seem to hanging in mid-air, and quite a lot of analysis, world views, dreams, realities, hope, heartbreaks et all - and then, I realise -

Why am I trying to end it all, I am not dying tomorrow, or I am not retiring in life, or not 60, 70 or some 80+ guy!

Just taking a step back - and hmmm, I am glad I am 28 and take life as it comes.

Surprises and unexpected turns will be welcomed with open arms.

Phew!

Caesar IV

2007-05-15T15:00:00.000+05:30

Rewind to 1999-2000, and long nights were spent playing Caeser in my first job... always get excited playing strategy games.

Anyways, the game is pretty expensive, and its been quite long since I indulged in any expensive buy for self - and was thinking, hmm.... do I really deserve to buy this....and this is what sam sends in a mail..

10 reasons why johnnie deserves Ceaser IV

He’s been nice to Sam through her cranky phase
He stopped playing Darwin
He was determined to lose weight and he lost a lot
He hasn’t bought anything expensive for a long, long time
He took Sam and Avu to Charminar on Sunday evening
He’s spending more on cleaning up his language, anyway
Wipro is turning him into a weird kind of moron otherwise
He doesn’t read Asterix so Caesar is a way to ancient rome
Its better than bubbles
He has dimples!

I am in a SHIFT+DELETE mood

2007-05-14T11:39:00.002+05:30

..and here comes the list

shaadi.com profile (created as a JV between Parents and Sibling)
orkut profile
Hotmail account, Rediff, Sifymail
Linkedin
SPUR ETR (extra terrestrial research...huh!!)
burn all the project CDs of my work life
throw away scrapbooks from school
delete a few relatives
all pictures in the mobile
all videos of myself
all material related to physics & maths
all pictures of childhood (not many though)
format laptop, desktop every damm thing that has data
reset my brain (everything goes - worldviews, gyan, memories, education, philosophy et all)
burn all certificates of achievement
cancel all credit cards
cancel all loan accounts (~ money I gave :P)
delete phone book

will keep this post though, incase I need to be reminded and have to make a comeback like "Agent J" in MIB - II

Absurd!

Another facet of Johnnie

2007-05-08T15:28:00.000+05:30

If you can't solve the problem, become the problem!

~ my philosophy :P