Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Epic Fall

It’s at moments like these that your ire notches up a few more degrees than you thought was your worst, and being precluded in a world that you don’t want anyone to interfere with and most of all have ‘pep talk’ when they have no freaking clue about what ‘reality’ is, you get tested with your patience on some ‘I care about you’ talk.

Please – if you cared enough, or even knew me enough, you would stay right in your own place, for you never really knew me or for that matter anyone else than yourself, for you so freaking live a life that revolves around your own damn self – megalomania !

And do I sound like a jerk? Well, did I ever say I was not?

Monday, September 07, 2009

That Past Haunts …

Why does one always look at the past, and even the one with the most pitiful existence, have some wonderful moments to remember back, while at the same time, everything about tomorrow, is looked with spite, loaded with fears and speculation.

The answer my friend is – when we look at the past, we always see beyond ourselves, and our situations (present and past), while when we look at the future, we somehow can’t look an inch beyond ourselves!


Saturday, September 05, 2009

The vantage of time

As the clocks keep ticking ahead, and to most in my immediate circle (me included), the clock somehow seems ticking faster as you approach or just about cross 30. At this probable midpoint in life, often wonder how the vantage of time has fared.

It’s a one off game between the ticking clock and the suspended slices of time till now.

I would start the timeline from high school, (or teen age years ~ ah, that sounds sooooooooooo good), cos till then, the ticking clock was controlled by everything and everybody else than us.

And the day arrived, when each of us said (in our teen age years) – Hey! – I know what I am doing, I really do, and bloody stop interfering with my life – I can control it, and know hellya much better than you know. After all, what the hell do you know about being in my generation and being in teen years (hellya, yes!).

The clocks slowed down, rather got scared looking at the fusillade of energy - the days stopped at 23:49, and started at 00:16, and the clocks got confused and decided to lay low, and watch life unfold. The days were really long, and the nights nonexistent, and the speed of thought limited by only the risk of a fissure to the skull, and the rate of blossom thwarted by “speed controls – commonly known as parents”.

And then, school and college ended, and the 20’s look on –

Welcome to the inebriated condition of a high, fighting a terrible hangover and acting sober to make a pristine impression on everyone and everything around. An image of “have done it all, seen it all, and nothing, no matter what can jolt us”. The clocks are catching up, and have that evil tick about them – somehow, the hours seem to fly past us, that you are being dragged to a slow rhythm, and are injected seeds of frustration at how slow things move, and yet somehow, times seems to fly right past our face.

There are valleys of time of total emptiness, or a mad rush of everything, that you think Planet Mars would be fine, it after all has a good 41 minutes more each day. (41 mins eh!) – Wait it has 322 days more in a year (I would be still 16 and rocking now on planet Mars. It’s all the conspiracy of the old-minded homo sapiens that thwarted Mars travel, to prevent “DNA drain” – and unfortunately back here on Earth, in the 20’s all that one sees, it controversies and more and more and more and more and more and more….huh…. conspiracy theories.)

And then , one day – you are jolted out of the busy slumber, by switch points that induce a sudden shock (more commonly known as parents) – saying – hey – it’s about time you settled, flowed more in sync with the time, and take responsibility seriously, and procreate before it ‘s too late – WHAT – hello 30’s. Whoa!!!

The first thing that you wonder in 30’s – why are parents so eager that their daughters get laid as soon as they can (cos till just a few years ago, they had a whole network of aunties guarding their precious child), and ensure that the son’s get the best bird, before it’s too late(while till a few micro nano seconds ago, you were a kid who din’t know anything about women;- and other things like career and jobs and love for the country, animals, mountains, rickshaws, Somalia, Quantum Physics, congeniality, music, God, money, society, stature – I am tired the list is really long, were very very absolutely and only important).

But Back on Earth, we stare at the clocks, who now display their first hand at overtaking us, and a whole life of revenge waiting to happen – huh! – Revenge – are you not clock – innate and no feelings?

Slowly but surely, we make ‘peace’ to walk in tandem with the tick tock of the clock, and I know for sure, time will run over.

For now, I am still 30, and refuge to speculate till the time stops (I mean ya – the bloody tick tock does not stop, till I finally run out and bow to the eternal timeline)