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Showing posts from 2008

Unfulfilled Dreams

You've been living in a dream world, Neo. This is the world as it exists today.... Welcome to the Desert of the Real. ~ The Matrix And quite coincidentally, most of us live a life that is marred (err defined) by unfulfilled dreams. As humans, all of us dream, and dream we always of something thing much different than the state we have. It’s quite intriguing that even in our wild fantasies, we define our dreams with an important element in it – Pain – Even in this new state of affairs, we very consciously count the cost of what we will not have in the new state – and that’s what surprises me. Even in a state of fantasy and wild day dreaming, we always count the cost! I recall from another blog post that, we as humans are seasoned, equipped to deal and define our existence to start with and thereby the quality of life by the pain we are subjected to, the pain we can deal with, and the pain we can at will; can cause on another human being Imagine the ‘now’, for someone living in hect

2nd Innings

…and I am ready for the 2nd innings – I do not know how many innings are out there to play, maybe a couple more, a few more seasons, a lil more refining, a lot many dreams, make a few more stars twinkle, many more sunsets to be chased, a lot more to be learnt, much to be tempered, seasoned, pickled and then wake up early on a dreamless night and wonder, if another innings is round the corner. I breathe hope, eat optimism, ride on passion and flirt with ‘Grace’. That is what I am – simple and candid. ..and here I am, standing, looking ahead, taking a peek back, and no regrets, but think something(s) could have be done differently, but no regrets, cos I got more than what I asked for, and a lot more than what I dreamt of, and more importantly – I am here writing this, and at the start of a 2nd innings. A toast to all who have been at this moment before me, and a wish to all who are yet in their 1st innings – you will be here eventually! I wish and dream a brilliant 2nd innings, but real

A Surreal Paradox

..and yet again I laugh at the vilest and ancient of paradoxes, that leers even today ..for every time we get caught in an intellectual problem, we seek an answer from the heart and do what the heart says; ..and every time we get stuck in problem that originates out of the heart, we rationalize with the mind ..and in this, life is choked, the heart weeps and the mind drains, and yet again ever so often, we see the same paradox over and over again, right from the time it started in the Garden of Eden, when man thought with the mind for an obedience God demanded of the heart; ..and for the empathy we expect, and a shoulder to crib, when all we really needed was an intellectual solution …and for the rational solutions we provide for the cries of the heart ..and when we really understand that; dropping these masks we wear, and reaching out to the heart with a heart, and to a mind with a mind, don’t we get moments of eternity right here on Earth? and ain’t not all the fondest of memories we

EMI & Loan amortization Formula

I realised that most who are searching for a EMI formula will not read a long blog - To download the EMI / Loan Amortization Template and the formulae - click here To read the descriptive blog about EMI / Loan Amortization - click here .

Loan amortization schedule

I walk into my home today to find a mail from my Banker - there is an increase of 150 Basis Points in the Home Loan interest rate - meaning, my house loan has increased by 1.5% - What stumped my the most is this - My House loan tenure is increased to 425 months from 240 months, keeping the EMI (Equated Monthly Installment / Amortization Money) constant. It took about 2-3 minutes to understand that a 1.5% increase in house loan can actually almost double my repayment period - and needless to say, you would almost pay 80% than what you actually would have paid at the end of the agreed period - in my case 24 months. There was no mathematical error - and the easier way to decrease my 80% additional payout is to increase my EMI by just about 8% a month. At first, I took the easy way out asking uncle "Google" for the formula for amortization / calculate payout months with EMI constant, and for a surprise - I did not get any simple answers - There were some good Excel Templates on M

Random tidbits about my workplaces

Wipro had the fastest IT response time – under 2 mins – every time, all the time :) - Amazing All most every single Finance / HR head across all the companies have been sacked / tried for either financial fraud or sexual abuse!!! – And all these companies have the longest essays on everything ‘ethical’ All but at one company (SumTotal) – I have seen people make-out or watch porn in the conference room A comment that’s blog worthy Working with XXXX is like reliving the dream of high school - except that....in high school it was fun, but a few years down the lane, you see it as being stupid and occasionally laugh at yourself....but it gets even more frustrating when you have to hear self appointed pompous asses who make a big deal of it - grow up guys!!!! Unfortunately... I am living that for now - just can't wait to get out of high school No company ever gave a financial bonus to any employees, while each maintained at least 40% profit Y-O-Y Across all companies – ‘hikes ‘ came bef

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In Search of Excellence

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All of us, for a better part of our lives are in “search of excellence”, and at some point in time, we might take a pause, be content with what we have , or just become too complacent with the world around us –but even in that state of complacency we still look for a better state – Too bad, this running never stops – the quest for ‘higher ‘never ends. And I guess the reason is this – the World we live in is defined by order – now before you can jump off saying it can be defined by chaos also, based on being of an alternate world view- Click here Let me use a negative sounding word for this apparent search for excellence – “altered reality” – we all tend to live in an altered reality – Taking a rather mathematical approach to this altered reality - How we choose the variables of altered reality define the way we progress in this helping us estimate how big this constant of alteration is (in simple words – how heavy or light) – reality my friend is rather easy – its staring right into ou

The Heaven’s beckon the knowledge quest

Those closest to me, must have heard this many a times – my passion is Physics, and my career is Management – I was watching this program called – “Elegant Universe” - It left me wondering for a moment (well the whole evening), if I should have pursued Physics, got into research etc etc –but by the time I write this blog (a day later) – I am happy to sit and watch these programs and marvel at how Theoretical Physics has progressed and blah blah… I guess I need a break :)

Order Vs. Chaos

Scenario 1 - The world is based on ‘Order’. ‘Order’ assumes perfection and perfection assumes a relentless quest for improvement – We mess this ‘Order’ – things mess up – We start working our way out of the mess –meaning – start progressing towards ‘Order’. Scenario 2- The world is defined as a ‘Chaos’ – and we are not grounded by any rules – after all, ‘Chaos’ cannot have any rules – but then a desire to have a something a little better kicks in – and we bring in some ‘Order’ to a small, chaotic part – meaning me are ruining the ‘Chaos’ by brining any ‘Order’ – or in ‘Order’ to maintain a perfect chaotic world, we need to ensure that the ‘Chaos’ remains – and anything that ensures that something remains in its state is ‘Order’ – meaning – ‘Chaos’ is a self destructing proposition. (That’s why I don’t believe in fate as it assumes ‘Chaos’ as a basis – while ‘Order’ assumes God –will deal about this in another blog) This blog post is dedicate to Supriya , who I think holds the fastest c

God must be having a headache!!

Alas – poor him – human’s at least have a way out – they can pray to God – Poor God – what would he do? No – this is not a mockery of God. This is what happened today morning at 4:30 AM. Out of the blue (er black), there is this blast of really loud incantations, apparently to worship the local god of the area I live in – 4:30 AM – Phew – and I don’t think it’s pleasant for anyone, leave alone God for a nasal toned, yucky sounding babbling woman sing apparent praises to wakeup the deity ! My house is quite a distance from the nearby temple, but the volume – I guess could have bet a Rock Show “mics down” – and after 20 mins of crooning, comes along a dubbed tape of forced lyrics on a latest film track – I don’t know if the deity there were worshipping would have been pleased with this effort, but atleast some 200 families in 1 KM radius would have cursed both this lady, the temple and that deity who put-up with such nonsense. Where does sense and sensibility go? – If you want to worsh

iPhone in India

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At last - the much awaited day comes, when iPhone launches in India, and phew what a disappointment - It just costs 4 times more than in any other part of the World - A whopping 800$ !!! - I always suspected that they would price it higher - but - 4 times? - India is the only market, where people spend almost double on a handset (in comparision to the same phone in other parts of the world) - The Govt levies 15% -20 % import duty - that cost being added to the phone is understandable. But 4 times ?? and guess what - it would be locked to a network too! The rationale Vodafone and Airtel give is that they would not subsidize the phone - unlike US telecom players - but I still get a phone that is locked, and also need to have a 2 year contract - What the f&^#? I am paying 100% or may be 200% the value of the phone - I should be allowed to do whatever I want with it ! I have been acting noble not buying a jailbreaked phone, with a respect for the manufacturer that they have produ

Life in the fast lane

The title overflows of adrenalin, excitement, energy and looks like the best lane to be – after all, the fastest lane has the best of everything – the smoothest road, the fastest cars, the biggest brands and whiff of envious air that gets past the vipers as you zoom by …. …and we all endeavor for it, and run the mile as much as possible, and as close as possible to the fast lane. However, the irony is that – does the fastest lane have all of that we really think and aspire to have? – We run so fast trying to save time, and get an extra ounce of everything possible with the myth that we will have all the time at the end of the road, to enjoy the fruits of time gained by being in the fast lane . I think what we really do in the fast lane is build safety nets - We are on an overdrive of infinite planning. Let’s take the Naturalist view – Evolution! – Evolution defies a safety net – if there is a safety net of peaceful existence, Evolution fails, and all of us would have ended at the prim

the Bitch

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It’s rather sad that I need to break my non-writing spree with a blog post titled “the Bitch”. As you would have guessed, it would not be a pleasant blog, and I abhor writing such negative things about any human in general, but then, you get provoked, fingered (no pun intended), and push the limits of forbearance, and Voila – out comes a post – simply called “the Bitch” Interestingly, bitch as commonly understood is not a derogatory term used for the female kind – but, alas, this post is unfortunately not about a guy! Let’s define the characteristics of ‘the Bitch’ She would think she is the love of every heart, by her loud talk – seldom does she realize that many a times people don’t even hear her beyond the first sentence – and wait for the endless babble to end – has not anyone heard – a loud mouthed woman is hated by everyone including women? She would think that she is got the best of all worlds, and command power – while in reality, people are poignant to a point, she is not wo

India Wins Gold at Olympics

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Pissed off ? Upset ?

The difference between being pissed off and being upset is; you breathe out through your nostrils in the former, and breathe into your head in the later.

Life @ Business

Rationals do business Irrationals keep discussing business Obtuse keep bargaining

Mirage

Ever so many times, does the feeling of “an infinite longing to a brilliant life bounded by finite capacity” is what knocks us down, more so with an increasing tempo and a greater urge to have more, with every passing day; as we chase the ticking clock of the heart, the mind and the body thereof. That longing for certainty (in the heart), sense of control (in the mind) and endurance (of the body) pushes us into a mindset of where we seem to believe (or rather strived / strive infinitely) that we know almost everything about everything. Can we really be certain about anything at all? There seem to be so many answers for everything that could possibly be questioned about, except that – (most often) We do not know , what is the question that is really bothering us – and there we plunge into the depths of philosophy(to the heart) , causality(to the mind) and pain (to the body) to place ourselves into of the following paradigms – Why am I here (heart) What am I doing (mind) How long (body)

Hyperbole

I was thinking of all the offbeat statements, I heard about me – rather funny, interesting and hmm a hyperbole. One of my (girl)friends describing me to her boy friend – John is really sweet, extremely chivalrous, just is there when you need him very pally, and you can trust him always not to take advantage of you, and does not hit on anyone or every – very very sweet – The Hyperbole - Her friend – sure he is not Gay? …nah just asking :) One of my colleagues discussing me over coffee – How can this guy be so cold and calculating (hmmm.. I mean in a positive way), and get away with utter indignation to rules, and yet win people at work? Huh!! The Hyperbole - Reaction – he is just an asshole who is difficult to hate – reason, bugger is intelligent (that I still am to figure out if he really is!!) Whoa man – this fella is equipped with so many facts – he knows his subject and takes people to task – The Hyperbole – Hello – I really think he is successful because he has better (English) lan

Alone

After a long long time, a really long time – I feel alone - The word is alone, and not exactly lonely! It maybe the set of events over the last 2 weeks, where I was the only soul in a 600 seater movie hall, or finally getting bugged of living and working out of a hotel / home for the last 8 months, and not made any new friends, and in general everyone including me have got a lil more busy with life. It maybe that my intolerance to nonsense and general lack of intelligence in everything that kept a lot of people at bay It may be that I just need someone for more than a friend It may be that you want to share a hundred new ideas, but don’t find one to intellectually debate, but in a role where I am only mentoring a few promising souls It may be I got lazy in life to do something refreshing It may be that I am bereft of sleep for the last 2 nights and … Still – alone :)

Zephyr

After ‘ Glade ’, it’s the gentle breeze that really refreshes - I start quoting this: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Maryanne Williamson Ever wondered how simply we brush the idea of a fairy with tiny little wings, and yet in our deepest of hearts wished we had one lil fair