Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Connected world……

Adam was wandering lone in the Garden of Eden, and God Said “Let me make him a partner”, and Voila, Eve Comes, and ever since Man and Woman ‘Connected’.

What a wonderful beginning! – Except that it was different – Only one man and one woman to connect with.

Though the old Joke goes – One day – Adam was wandering for a long time and came real late back to the tree house – and EVE was all fuming and angry, and suspected that – Adam was having an affair!

Adam: Honey, how can this be possible? There is no other woman on earth other than you. How can I have an affair?
Eve: Even then, I feel jealous. I am sure you have someone

Eventually they slept with their backs to each other, and in the
deep of the night – Eve wakes up and starts counting the number of Ribs on Adam.
And ever since, Man and Woman have connected, cherished the connection and gave “birth” to jealousy, fear (of losing the connect), and nurtured possessiveness.

Now … some 6000 yrs later, with roughly about 3 billion people on Earth, each of us still look, crave, search for the one soul with whom we can “CONNECT”, and why exactly do we do that? What is the Chemistry, Physics, language and state of being connected?

Let’s start connecting the dots.
I think all of us knowingly and unknowingly look for 4 dimensions when we want to “Connect”.

Spiritual: From my point of view, that’s the most important connect. Once this connect is established, everything falls in place I guess. Speaking a lil more about spirituality, we should not confuse it with Religion – Religion is what one practices as a ritual – Spirituality is what one believes in (and this can be based on the religion).

I believe that the spiritual Connect I need to have – is that – my potential partner needs to be a believing Christian. “Believing”, that’s the key word. Not necessarily someone born into a Christian family or someone who chooses to adopt the Christian religion, but some one who knows the LORD as the saviour and redeemer like I do. (That distinguishes the religion from the spirituality)

Emotional: This is where lots of ‘knowledge’ is available, and few practioners known. That’s a rather audacious statement to make, but the way I look at it – its not about raging harmones or intense emotions, that make you cling, long or get possessive about a person – It’s about channeling the emotions in a way that – You make your partner feel like the “man” or like the “woman” they are.

At their elemental best, they should enjoy an absolute sense of freedom, and yet have that absolute sense of being possessed. Based on this definition, words like crushes, flames, infatuation all disappear from the “connected” world’s dictionary.

I believe that when you connect in the “knowledge” emotional way, what follows is -… this dinn happen, debates about the ‘right’ moment, right time to propose, right gesture, right feeling. – Everything becomes a fad of acceptance or of imbibed perception – and when the candles melt, and the sun rises over the honeymoon - BOOM

Intellectual: If there is one thing that can consistently appeal to every one, and something that can overshadow the how one looks, what one eats, how one behaves, how much one earns – it’s Intellect.

When one connects intellectually (in fact this is the only place where the word connect really transliterates itself), there is quick rise of appreciation, well being ness, a sense of hope and confidence about the future (note that the hope does not actually appear in the Emotional or Spiritual part), the connected beings can talk about anything and everything – that’s what we hear as compatibility. Compatibility – an ability to have a COMmon Passion over a wide plethora of things.

I believe that when one is intellectually connected, it’s the decision center of a relationship –where one makes a choice to connect or not to, to love or not to, to open up or not to, to trust or not to.

So the real question arises – If there is no intellectual compatibility, would we still (choose to) love? Choose to Emote?

An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself. – Lord Tennyson

Physical: Last but equally important like others, one needs to physically connect too. When we speak of the physical connect, nature by design has designed each of us to respond to the best make of our counter sex. It’s a process of natural selection. That’s the reason that makes a few nerves tingle and a makes a few beats skip when we see some person whom we do not know, but our bodies naturally crave for the person.

But, being the adapted social animal we are, we would not establish a physical connect unless, its Intellectually, emotionally and lastly spiritually connecting, exactly in the same order ..
I believe based on the order in which we take (intellectual, emotional, Spiritual) various combinations of relationships result like the following GRID

In conclusion – while the above grid classifies the types of connects possible. It really depends on what one looks when they mean being connected – and in what order of priority.

As for me, it should not be hard for anyone who followed this article closely to know what I want. A strong and balanced connect on all fronts in the order of…..

The hardest thing in life is not to return “love for hate”, not to “include the excluded”, or to say, "I was wrong" but to have the courage to accept, appreciate and yet say with courage – that one connects or doesn’t connect – and how one wants to interpret how they want to see the connect to remain.

Monday, February 20, 2006

A short race on the endless mill …

I have started discovering quite a few paradoxes of late. The biggest of them – I have been running… running…running…..running so much…but .. There is so much flab around my waist….hmm…yes that’s the point… I have been “running” but on a completely different track.

On one of my late night readings the other night – I have come across a statement that suddenly halted my track – and forced me to take a pause –

It is said that Humans are the only creatures who run faster when they lose their way. The result - Increased irritability, Frayed Nerves, Impatience, Shorter fuses, Preoccupation and Procrastination- unfortunately all when it comes to choosing the right priorities. – Charles R. Swindoll
I paused and questioned – Why exactly have I been running so much – Run to climb 2 rungs at a time in the corporate ladder? Chew on books not be outdone? Analyze 4 steps at a time, so that you “read” the mind of the one you are speaking to? …….and…the old song rings the bells…

This is one blog that's hard to finish... the race continues...



Run ....

Monday, February 06, 2006

Mistaken Identity? Mis(ed)takable Identity....

Once in while, comes a point when you start reading those old scribbled pages, from school days, where you penned down – “I want to be a __________ “, or chance upon some old mail, find one small lil prize that you won in a competition so BIG, that you almost forgot about it, or read your own BLOG at 2 AM, and wonder…..

Hello, was that me? Is it a Mistaken Identity, Mis(ed)takable Identity (ala an Identity that I missed, and that which should be taken). Like the old saying goes, ‘the faintest ink is better than the sharpest memory”, each of those scribbled long forgotten pages, left behind an imprint of a “slice of our personality”, and when we chance upon the same, wonder, Hey, Is that me…?

“Hello, is it me that you looking for???...cos I wonder who you are, I wonder what you do... are you sometimes feeling lonely or someone love's you”

We look so different when we look back at those chanced slices of ourselves, a self that -sometimes we wonder in awe, laugh out in pure merry, smile at ‘oh my!.. Wonderful!”. Probing further, is it not the same thing that we actually strive for, every single day? That we be someone - we can feel proud about, sigh a smile of satisfaction, and revel in a lil sense of awe(d) achievement ?

How wonderful it would be, if only we could pause a lil while every day, to look back and say…oh…nice to know I was this…and even better, I am now here – The deep sense of satisfaction can fill our chests with so much pride (read positive energy) that, we can look up the future as – I will look on this day 10 yrs from now, and smile…and say… ‘oh my!.. Wonderful!”.

How we end, matters more that how we began!. We make so many beginnings everyday, for so many things – I fantasize and visualize Myself, looking on TODAY, as a forgotten scribbled paper, 10, 20, 30 yrs from now, and would I smile? Would I still do the same thing? Would…I raise my head in Pride or …have a tear so heavy that a drop of it can shatter the ground beneath me?

I search for the Mistaken Identity, Mis(ed)takable Identity… and pray, that I get lost many a times and find many a such Mistaken Identities over the next years, as I live on.

As I always believe, you need courage to love – even more courage than you can imagine to love yourself today, just the way you are – There in I guess, I will be scribbling more pages that I can lose in time, and discover in time.

Wishing to be lost and wishing to be found, all over again, and again and again…..

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