Sunday, April 29, 2007


Always wonder why the eyes mist irrespective of whether the memories are pleasant or ugly!

Something I have been thinking about, over the last couple of weeks - 'more than experience shaping us, its the memories that we create, the memories we cherish, the memories we choose to leave behind, and the memories we choose to remember that shape and influence our personality'

While experience chips off the rough edges and probably will get us the glitter in the long run, it's really the memories that shape us in the present, and influence how we behave, what we choose and how we want to look ahead at things.

Ah ... memories

Honest answers

Hmmm... one of the rare 'why' questions I ask - Rare for the fact - I dont ask 'why' in general

Why do we expect to hear a nice sounding answer, when you already know the honest answer, and disapprove of the person (not really....but hmm kinds) if s/he gave the right sounding answer, and cringe within if the answer was honest; hoping, you heard some sugared words?


~ hmmm

Ans: The heart is made of flesh I suppose :P

Compliments in Gult Land

One of the biggest compliments a guy or girl can get in Gult land is – ‘you are not a gult’


Friday, April 20, 2007

Pain, Pleasure and Meaningless thereof....

These words jarringly resound to a point of cacophony in the head, that you wonder whether the quiet that is disturbed is a mathematical consequence of a series of actions you have taken, or another dictum enforced in the myriads of fate, or the moving of the mysterious hand of an infinite God, or just about a tyranny of thoughts in a point in time and context battle?

As humans, by sheer survival instincts that we have developed over the last many thousands of years (either by the ‘survival of fittest’ theory or by the ‘rapid pushing of the limits in science, civilization and thought’), we are seasoned, equipped to deal and define our existence to start with and thereby the quality of life by the pain we are subjected to, the pain we can deal with, and the pain we can at will can cause on another human being.

It’s awing to see that the seemingly correct answer to pain is ‘to pleasure’ and here we go down the hill, on a ride of pleasure to conquer pain!

Pleasure at its core is a just a state of well being in the head, where the cacophony in the head is quieted down and adrenalin is pumped to the desired levels we chose by the type of pleasure we indulge in – I use the word indulge, because that starting point of ‘pleasure in order to deal with pain’ is the willful tyranny to suppress the noises around.

Being defined by pain, dealt by pain, and subjected pain and moving on to pleasure with a not so subtle hope of finding meaning in all of it, and we wonder, what was it that all of this means – more questions arise after the bubble of pleasure is punctured, and we redefine ourselves back in terms of pain, the pleasure thereof, and come to a grand conclusion – “Meaninglessness”

The pivotal reason to move from pain to pleasure is to get a bigger sense of autonomy of ourselves, and about you – on a path of self-fulfillment!

In the words of Daniel Yankelovich - The individual is not truly fulfilled by becoming ever more autonomous. Indeed, to move too far in this direction is to risk psychosis, the ultimate form of autonomy. The injunction to find one’s self, one must lose one’s self, contains the truth any seeker of fulfillment needs to grasp”

At this time with a tiny little pause, what really is the truth that we so desperately keep seeking, and in the process juggle with pleasure, pain and the meaninglessness thereof?

The truth is just that deep within, there is a quest to be fulfilled, and this goes beyond the apparent ramifications of the physical, mental or emotional – but start and after a long winding path end at something we call, as the quest for the spirit – GOD!

The only way the coins flip in this infinite loop is to find that anchor element of GOD, a personal relationship with Him and the meaning that’s derived thereof.

As much as with pleasure, remembering Chesterton - Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain, but from being weary of pleasure, and I add, both together push us deeper into “meaninglessness”

I am on a holiday, a much needed one, to think, to pause and to cheer myself up – and at the end of a little part of the great holiday, I see the juggle, a little cacophony muffled, and a little pleasure indulged, and a great deal of meaningless fought and some meaning derived.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Missing Day

Today, I am in a "miss a lot of things" mood

I miss the Himalayas
I miss Mumbai
I miss the fine weather after rain
I miss bunking office
I miss peacock lake
I miss watching movies alone
I miss Mumbai
I miss brilliant traditional home cooked andhra veggie food
I miss reading heavy philosophy (all philosophers are dead)
I miss writing intense blogs
I miss giving gyan (free gyan kinds - paid yes :P)
I miss the glee in the eye for simple thingies
I miss being rebellious
I miss being irreverent
I miss the joy of sunday school
I miss hardcore intellectual debates
I miss arguments where both the parties have a strong case
I miss apologetics
I miss running 10 kms
I miss 'managing' credit cards
I miss being the good son (7th class was the last known attempt)
I miss working on a 1000 item project plan
I miss making black money (hmmm... should start back)
I miss running small alternate business(es)
I miss Dark Temptation @ barista
I miss staying awake till 4 AM
I miss playing the guitar
I miss hacking
I miss illegal downloads
I miss making people incredbly happy with small sweet nothings
I miss a few friends
I miss being on a high
I miss being pensive
I miss being cranky
I miss religious debates (with respect and honour)
I miss being in love
I miss being loved
I miss expermenting with colours
I miss charcoal
I miss creating excel sheets with complex maros
I miss college from kerela
I miss Nizam college
I miss teaching basket ball to unsuspecting sexy female juniors
I miss theoritical physics classes
I miss playing with LAZERS
I miss the smell of H2S
I miss dancing in the chemistry lab with a doctor friend
I miss bunking classes at mba college
I miss making senior management bearing the grunt of hiring me (not really :P)
I miss beautiful flowers
I miss triple shot coffee
I miss the sunrise with gusty wind
I miss the sunset chasing the clouds
I miss the office roof
I miss Irani Chai
I miss old city
I miss the old prof in nuclear physics
I miss the stink of sweat after playing a cricket match the whole day
I miss the sweet nothing words "you are ...... "
I miss conference calls when you had the last laugh
I miss sitting on the floor in a conf room, amidst a serious discussion & watch the fun
I miss driving off on my bike
I miss hearing heavy metal
I miss stock market analysis
I miss secret holidays with friends
I miss telling small lil white lies
I miss being the nasty guy
I miss ....

I miss ....

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

How does your life compare quiz?

Your Life is Better Than 86% of All People

You really lucked out. Your life is ideal and practically perfect.
You shouldn't have a care or worry in the world...
And make sure you remember that when something little gets you down.
Most people would kill for your life. So be happy that you're the one living it!

no title

hmmm... takes another friend of mine to rescue me from completing the telugu alphabet - shame on me !! - My telugu skills are rather poor

Sunday, April 01, 2007

At what price would you sell out?

On Average, You Would Sell Out For


Next time you wanna buy me, that's the price.....

The three dimension luck and power test

You Are Internal - Realist - Powerful

You feel your life is controlled internally.
If you want something, you make it happen.
You don't wait around for things to go your way.
You value your independence and don't like others to have control.

You are a realist when it comes to luck.
You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random.
You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you...
But you do your best to try to make your own luck.

When it comes to who's in charge, it's you.
Life is a kingdom, and you're the grand ruler.
You don't care much about what others think.
But they better care what you think!

how much is your life worth - Whatever :P

Your Life Is Worth...


The sesame street personality

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

Whats your thinking style

Your Dominant Thinking Style: Modifying
Super logical and rational, you consider every fact available to you.You don't make rash decisions and are rarely moved by emotion.
You prefer what's known and proven - to the new and untested.You tend to ground those around you and add stability.