Monday, June 26, 2006

The Indulgent Mind - So More and No More!


This blog is dedicated to my dear friend, who calls herself 'the goddess'. One who chooses to be an indulgent pessimist, but an absoulte optimist at heart.


It keeps on ringing - so very often, in every one’s mind – “So More and No More”, the lines are continually drawn – a line that somehow just about dictates an invisible boundary. It’s a boundary that ‘the will’ imposes and it’s the boundary ‘the will’ is teased to cross.

Flirting on the edge of the Indulgent Mind is tolerance in a platonic relationship; perseverance in romance, patience in courting, ambition in a career, faith in (a relationship with) God. Point in fact - all the words – tolerance, perseverance, patience, ambition, faith are the 5 pillars of something I would call the “Big Quest”.

So what is this “Big Quest” that pushes the
indulgent mind into the foray?

Dormant in the deepest recesses of the “cerebellum - the cradle of an ever evolving self”, are the impressions made right from the time; you are still a thought in a few dewy eyes. Impressions (...that can be erased, remade or fortified), that concretize the foundations of Tolerance, Perseverance, Patience, Ambition and Faith!

With every passing moment, a slice of an experience - an experience in terms of a measure of any of the above 5 pillars is created in its own concoction. It never is a uniform concoction – and it better never be! So with every newer slice of experience being added layer over layer (hence the deepest recesses) in the mind, each of the pillars receives their own proportion of concrete to build. Hence the 5 pillars are never ever all equal –and there by originate the need to continually draw the line. By inherent nature, we are designed with a sense of balance and equilibrium, and yearn to get this balance all the time.

At this point enter - people & environment, the creators of various slices of experiences – and based on what we experience at moments of time, snowballing into periods of time, into phases, our disposition is set on what out look we take. So, do we say – that we are nothing but a helpless molding of a set of experiences that we are not probably in full control of? No! – though we are a product of experience, something that determines what we still do – is the line that we choose to draw- Yes – The Will. If there is one thing that can overrule any slice of an experience and the natural impact of it – it’s the will. The will to choose and the will to say – “So More and No More”.

What about freedom – So am I a prisoner of my own self? Freedom of the will is not fully absolute in an absolute sense, but with in a boundary, yes fully absolute!

“Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves”-Friedrich Nietzsche

After all this, what really matters – is the present state of disposition that we choose to indulge in, despite. That’s where the indulgent mind really is the foray. Logic, reasoning, experience, pressure or hurt still would not make us do what I would call is a “natural reaction” to a situation, but the “Big Quest” is what dictates this state of the indulgent mind.

So More and No more, simple, in spite of all the reasons why we continually draw those lines, the simplest and the greatest of pleasures are derived in extending the boundary – We draw another “So More and No More”, just his time, we would have increased the breadth.

What is it that makes us do this – it’s apparent and need not be stated!

It STILL keeps on ringing - so very often, in every one’s mind – “So More and No More”, the lines are continually drawn – a line that somehow just about dictates an invisible boundary. It’s a boundary that ‘the will’ imposes and it’s the boundary ‘the will’ is teased to cross.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

What was that again?

Intimate Thoughts said...

hmm...so my dear anonymous...it was a point in fact :)

Anonymous said...

zulu... the words that ring a bell..."Faith in God".... Reminds em of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice Issac all for his faith in Lord Almighty....

He had unshakable faith and was willing to sacrifice indulgent love for faith...... such is Faith.

I went back to reading the passages at night. Each time I read them, my mind made me think deeper about matters that only the heart is supposed to feel. Who says mind and heart operate at various levels? There I was with both operating at the same level. Miraculous! Maybe there is a Divine connect between the two....

Intimate Thoughts said...

hmm...I wanted to write about the heart too in this blog, but almost went crazy writing this stuff itself...will deal with the "heart" soon..The "indulgent heart" is a touchy one... one cannot write about it in the same way as this, without touching a few raw pulsating nerves somewhere...

so much for indulgence...

Intimate Thoughts said...

seldom does one get the feeling of reading their own blog and go crazy....

I pity all my readers including my self ...to have to read this one particular blog...

THE INDULGENT MIND

CLS said...

thanks for dedicating this to me!