Thursday, April 15, 2010

Sania, Shoaib and a moron journalist

Yes, as much as I am bugged reading all the news about this clandestine (had to use that word) wedding, I chanced up on well written??? article by PTI / Rediff, and it made my day - I am ROFL :-). Yes, there is an explicit disclaimer, that the article (by PTI / Rediff) cannot be distributed and republished etc etc, but there is no disclaimer that I cannot make a mockery of the amazing sentence constructs. So bite me if you get offended.

Here it comes, the original news post along with my comments in (brackets):
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The sangeet ceremony of the newly-wed Indian tennis star Sania Mirza, who tied the knot with Pakistani cricketer Shoaib Malik earlier in the week, was on Wednesday held at a city hotel in Hyderabad.

(John Says: "who tied the knot with ..." also almost suggests, that both together tied it to someother person (shaoib's apa??)
Oh - btw, as MCP or sexist as I might sound; - 'Sania tied the knot' - I always thought, that the 'groom tied the knot', but Poor Shoaib, I guess had to let go off his pants, after being in the mud, and escaping the long arm of the kanooooooooon.

Both Sania and Shoaib, who got married on Monday, attended the ceremony.
(John Says: Oh wow! - they attended the ceremony - moron, I guess they were the hosts / it's their own function - you think they "graced" it with their celebrity presence??huh!!!!!)

Sania's outfit for the occasion was designed by Shantanu and Nikhil, while Shoaib's dress was gifted to his newly-wed wife's family members, the tennis player's spokesperson said.
(John Says: Now this is a Master Piece - "Shoaib's dress was gifted to his newly-wed wife's family members" - serioulsy - I don't see him naked, he was wearning clothes - oh- you meant, Sania's family gifted Shoaib clothes - it should have read - ' Shoaib's dress was gifted by his newly.........blah blah)

The guests had a lively evening as some enthralling music was played out on the occasion.
(John Says: Since I am on a mockery roll, yes - we expected some boring, funeral songs to be played - oops - did I say a funeral ?? - It's a bloody sangeet, and you will play enthralling music, and just curious - how did this punjabi custom creep into 'across the border, muslim wedding' - ya - I am the sterotype who believes that everything is fair in love, war and sports)

The menu for the evening included a lavish spread of about seven starters, a salad counter, a kebab corner, 10 main course dishes and six deserts.
(John says - ummm..should have been nice food - I am a hyderabadi, and I can vouch how you get all those love handles on star atheletes - it's just such food - ya - that was a little below the stomach - oopsie - stomach :P)

Former tennis players Jaideep Mukherjee and Akhtar Ali also attended the wedding celebrations.
(John says - nice - never heard of them - did they win the grandslam in 20-20 tennis ?)

Bollywood's living legend Amitabh Bachchan family has reportedly sent wishes to Sania and Shoaib on their wedding.
(John says: Oh my !#$%^ - to start with - it should be Amitabh Bachchan's family and not 'Amitabh Bachchan family', and really, the journalist had to include this tag line? - has not the poor Big B got enough shit already with the mumbai sea-link. Now he will be accused of supporting a wedding across the border, and called anti-Indian?)

The wedding reception will be held at the star hotel on Thursday.
(John Says: I really look forward to this, and just one question - you really are a journalist? I dinn know you can have some many gramatical errors in one small article and get to publish it in the WWW - or, is it "CREATIVE freedom" ?

(P.S - all gramaertical and speelingis msitakesses are strictly intentional, and any far resemblance to accuracy is a creative error - pls ignore, or duh leave a comment)

1 comment:

HolyTrance said...

This is AWESOME! I read the 'original' article... and m happy to see that I have options of changing my profession if needed...I won't be this bad :)!