Tuesday, January 10, 2006

At the peak of Achievement

That’s one state- every soul on earth longs to achieve or even better subsist in that state. What’s so much about achievement? – be it a professional goal like getting the most coveted job in the Market, or be it making a billion bucks, or sometimes, just winning over the heart of the most resistant person, or just about being at a personal sense of ease with the self, and breathe a deep sigh and say – Yes I did it – and enjoy the warm feeling in the blood of adrenalin pumping!

I guess, it all starts with a sense of void – somewhere deep within the realms of heart, cerebellum and ambition, an absolute sense of void - a void ness that has restricted one from being accepted as they are – which quickly in a nano second translates, that somewhere you are not able to come with terms with yourself – “I, Me, Myself” cannot accept myself as is, and hence start defining parameters of acceptance levels - hence the start of a race to achieve something.

Once this sense of achievement sets in, there are many weeks that we slog before it, building a sense of expectancy and anticipation. It's usually not hard to find something to look forward to, but then, once a while, a sense of despair sets in, unable to find something to set hopes on.

And finally, the one moment that we slogged for arrives, and at the peak of this great success, at the point of big puffed up chests, and when we for a moment stand and revel with a sense of achievement – after the warmth of the adrenalin sets in, the cold reality stares back – a Sense of void – This time a little more different – a question – What next and ….voila at the peak of achievement, you realize, there is more void than with what you started with – and yes, I run the same ritual all over again.

It’s at moments like this, I think back searching for that one thing that can fill that sense of void – and against all rationale mind - I believe – that it’s the one feeling of being loved; for what you are and as a person that you make up someone’s world – and for the mutual feeling of feeling wanted – the same sense of achievement turns from “I, Me, Myself” to …what can I give, and in giving, and work to give, a new peak of achievement is achieved. – Just his time around, you start feeling fuller, than feeling void.

I look for the same.. Just that one someone who can fill that void – unfortunately – the peaks of achievements over time more look like some hurdle between deep valleys. Is there Love?

1 comment:

Arjun said...
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