Living by external validation
Why is that, a good lot, live by the norm, that they, their actions, their self-worth need to be validated by an external source?
For a good long time, I believed that this is a phase every one goes through at some point of time, and to some extent. I was right till I discovered a complete set of people, who define their very 'existence by validation'.
Now that set me thinking, hmm.. WHY ? and this is what I realize - most people who exist (ya not live) by the external validation syndrome, are people who could never really accept themselves for what they are - Leave alone the world, they can't accept themselves the way they are. What appears as a defense mechanism, to give a boost to the self (~ validation), sometimes (or most times) mutates these people into, defining themselves by what they are not.
The moment I define myself by what I am not, I am left with really nothing to define myself by what I am really am, and the reason being, there would not be left too many things that are not really common to all mankind in general. The only things that would probably left are - I am a human, a good, rational, compassionate, loving soul !
Sounds Like Crap right, yes Exactly - Its crap.
Now that set me thinking, hmm.. WHY ? and this is what I realize - most people who exist (ya not live) by the external validation syndrome, are people who could never really accept themselves for what they are - Leave alone the world, they can't accept themselves the way they are. What appears as a defense mechanism, to give a boost to the self (~ validation), sometimes (or most times) mutates these people into, defining themselves by what they are not.
The moment I define myself by what I am not, I am left with really nothing to define myself by what I am really am, and the reason being, there would not be left too many things that are not really common to all mankind in general. The only things that would probably left are - I am a human, a good, rational, compassionate, loving soul !
Sounds Like Crap right, yes Exactly - Its crap.
One is eternally running away from what they are not, for fear of being what they don't wanna be - The other is running towards what they are and what they can be.
The difference is , the former is an exhausted, frustrated and angry soul with himself and the world around, the later, is the one who really has the smiles and the world with him smiles.
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