Sunday, February 25, 2007

A tale of two generations

The current generation speaks:
I am spaced out guys(~ parents / married siblings), just wanna be alone for sometime, and look, I really don’t like those aunties, whose sole mission is to ‘settle’ me in life – I can take care of myself, and besides, I have seen about a quarter century of life too.. Just curious, do you guys really think I am so stupid, that I can’t take care of myself? Just wonder, I am the same one you flaunt off, of the nice kewl education, great job, and a reputed company that trusts a few Million $ to my decision! Phew!

Does that sound like the story of every guy/girl in her twenties, whose only sin, is that they are young? Being young means, you are prone to irrational decisions, raging hormones that screw your head, and every one except you (or your other friends in their twenties who are single) knows what to do!

That’s the generation I relate to, cos I am in my twenties, and see being fixed up, with every potential girl at any family function (or) am the topic of the discussion – Some one wants to do my financial planning (they do not know what current market realities are), some one wants to do my personality training (hmm, have they ever seen more than 3 personalities other than their spouse, the ideal child and him/herself), some one who is the epitome of ‘know more than you dude’ (oh, yes – never stepped out of the city s/he studied, worked & lived in, worked in a unicellular organization, and all the big circle of friends they have is 80% relatives, 19% clones of themselves, and 1% who is really different, but painfully put up with for harmony sakes), some one who teaches behavior (I guess, they let out their frustrations of a messed up life, frustrated partners, and underachievement by giving behavioral gyan, for what is behavior but the shaping of how we respond in an environment, and yes, they are from a different(alien?) environment!), and someone who is just the giggle master, watching the game of baiting and being baited!

The yester generation speaks:
What’s wrong with this fellow/felle, does s/he not understand that, all we really want is his/her good and we, yes WE, YES WE, YES YES WE, and know what that good is. After all, I have seen the same life, twice over, once as myself, and now in my child!

If the whole world turns against him/her, we, we, we, we the family, we alone, but none will stand by him/her, and do everything needed, to help him/her.

Does s/he not remember, I am the one who cleaned his/her pooh, nurtured, helped walk, taught, and been by his/her side all along? How many sleepless nights and how many sacrifices that went into s/he being what s/he is now, they will never know till they have a child of their own?

Do they even understand what Love is? NO, NO, NOOO, NOOOOOOOO.

S/he is an idiot personified, but somehow does well in their career (ofcouse, It’s bcos, I helped him/her learn the alphabet, and guided him/her in his/her grade 9 math, and decided s/he should study mathematics, instead of pursing some stupid, useless, non-paying adventure / sport / music streams)

Does s/he not understand family, the importance of family, the love, the bonding, the affection, the blood, the sweat, the stink, the pain, and the solace of (whatever) us?

God! – I see this child of mine, as the epitome of my failure in ‘shaping’ him/her to be the dancing doll! What was wrong in the way I brought up this child?

That’s the generation; I don’t relate to, but see them every day, and are the current reality of life!

Connecting the dots:

In a rather interesting conversation, I suddenly say to one my senior colleagues (who now has two (= Infinity -1)) teenagers to deal with.

John: I guess you are a good mother
She: J hmm, thank you (blush, relief, happiness), you know what, I don’t think my kids think so
John: Well, that’s obvious, all children think the same – that their parents can do a tad (read as infinitely better) if only, they gave those small needed spaces, and allowed us to grow
John:…. And I add, that all parents think (esp when children start taking their own big decisions), that their children as the stupidest lot – who do not know any real thing (the things parents know) in life.
She: {silence}
She: {silence}
She: {silence}
She: Should tell you this – When I was in university, I penned an essay that won me the first prize. The topic was – “Ideal Parents” – My mom, at the point in time said, “I’ll preserve this, and show you this, when you are a parent of a child, as old as you are now”. John – I am ashamed to say this, but I guess, I am not even 10% of what I have written – I wonder, what happened to all that! Really wonder

Let me illustrate some of the common variables between both the generations:

It’s clear and established that we are two very different species – My questions are:

  1. Why do we (both generations) frustrate each other so much with no common ground?
  2. Can’t we take a NO as a NO and a YES as a YES – why play the complex emotional, rational, logical, well wishing games, till we get what we want?
  3. I wonder what ever happens to all those siblings who would have drawn blood for freedom, once they get married. Sister become grand mom, bro becomes grand dad- suddenly, we the single ones, sound like idiots!
  4. Yester Generation – were you ever in your 20’s - at least, we don’t think so – cos, you always sound 50+ (even if you are 23 with the difference that you are married) – do you remember the quest for life, the yearning to be something, the fire, the want, the need ? sorry - I am talking to the wall
  5. Current Generation – hmm, are we all set to become the next gen? hee hee – don’t blame anyone, for what you are and will be - no one owes you anything, and your don’t owe anything to anyone – make your life, move your ass, take your decision – too much to ask – if yes, then go become the classic good yester gen dude.
  6. God – How do you put up with all this nonsense?
  7. Can’t we love each other for what we are, for what we can be, and for what we cannot be too, instead of constantly trying to make the world go according to what you believe is ‘right’

There is really no tale - just two generations – that’s all!

P.S: Do excuse any spelling / grammatical errors - just one shot feed, no reviews, no re-reads – just straight from the …..


Anonymous said...

I'll preserve this John...lets see how things turn out to be...


Anonymous said...

you took so much pain to scribble this out and nobody responded? just 1 response? tch tch
love, sarbani (i have to choose anonymous otherwise it wont let me save this, so writing down my identity for case you dont recognize me ...

Arjun said...

this is truly "vintage" john.... very very nice and definitely one for the archives

Nada said...

hey john - looks like somebody lit a fire under you. well written as always, but i cant say that i relate to the generation thing... lucky to never have been in that spot...

Last line says it all "Can’t we love each other for what we are, for what we can be, and for what we cannot be too, instead of constantly trying to make the world go according to what you believe is ‘right’?"
If we could really ponder over that and strive to implement it, all kinds of relationships - family, parents, spouse, friends - would become so much better.

Xai said...

I said this to my family once, I'll say this to you now.

We are all smart people, aware of choices, aware of risks and rational enough to make well balanced decisions. We are respected at work for these very qualities. And expect to be respected at home in an identical way. But sadly, we forget that the others are as smart as you think you are.

You are who you are. At the end of everything, it's about being at peace with yourself and God. I don't think I would be able to face either with the explanation that I did what someone else thought was right for me and used none of my own discernment or faculties of reason.

Whew!! Sounds like you posting with my id with all that gyan, but... :-)

chikki said...

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Kindness is the oil that takes friction out of life..

Life is not as complicated as you think it is..

lots of love and prayers

Xai said...

I think your sister admits that people around you are losing their heads... :P

whirlwind said...

@ C&H -
That would be really interesting - I will preserve this too - hmm (at worst case, will check out how my son will pen a similar thing....naaaaaaaaaaah :P)

@Arjun -
Vintage Wine dude - Get an old skin - "Old wine in New Skins burst"

@Nada -
smiley :)

@Xai 1 -
hmm...right-wrong, respect-contempt, intelligence-daft(ness) - phew..couple(ts) are a problem I say

@ Chikki -
That's a nice one from Rudyard Kipling - had that on my desk when I was buring gallons of Midnight oil in Operations -

Ya- oil of kindness - lest we forget - will remember sister.

@ Xai 2 -
I guess this comment is a comment from the 'current' generation

@ me to me
This is one of the nasty, below the belt blogs that I have penned so far - Angst, ire, chafed and smiley