all Gyan BIG & small

And finally, I am on the Facebook- something, I resisted a long time - why - just not the virtual networking types. I still pick the phone and call the person I want to get in touch with. Nothing replaces the voice I say. However, it's surprising to see some many living out "virtual lives" out in the wireless world. ....And in these virtual worlds too,(though I am just a few hours old) I observe people fighting the same battles - expectations, joy, broken hearts, stalking, disappointments and crushes. Now one might argue, hey, these are the same humans online - are they really? - I still rather hear the angry / sweet voices, would like if some one would hit me in person than send a virtual punch, and a real kiss :-) - any takers for the virtual form? Hehehehehe Yet still,the unwired world is "connecting" more and more by the second ~To life Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

By far the best response I seen so far - it's as absurd as the demand for telangana is. Click Here

Mr.Monk finally comes to an end after 8 seasons. This is one of the nice memories I carried from the US. Watched couple of episodes, and got hooked on to it so much – I got the first 6 season DVDs shipped to me from HongKong. (Yes, not sold in India, not beamed and all that crap) And finally, I found a way to watch (online) and keep up with the last 2 seasons of Monk. I feel sad many times, that this (among some of my favorite shows) doesn’t get beamed in India and can’t access it legally online – so, some IP masking and shit like that – today, with a lag of 8 days (another internet rule / restriction), I watch the final episode. Now that the final episode is done, I feel a little like Monk himself – everything solved and nothing more to work (err watch :-) ) It truly was a brilliant series and gave me many refreshing and happy moments. Kudos to all entire crew and cast of Monk.

…And I write after a really looooooooooooooooooong time. So much happened over the last 8 months Tasted recession first hand Mourned along with a few friends in their loss of loved ones Few cousins / friends got married Some good friends became very sick My niece and nephew are growing (fast if I may add) Gained a ‘LOT’ of weight – (yes – I should lose tons) Mind thinks about “Wonder land” And now, I look ahead and wonder – really wonder, with that sense of wonder, which we seem to loose with every growing day – wonder about a lot of things, and some nice new yearnings, a few sweet nothings about my ‘old ‘ self – all the past years – the gone by days of endless dreams and energy - and I smile seeing “experience” replacing intellectual argument, and solitude replacing ‘spur of the moment’ actions and so on. Yet – there is that old cerebellum that refuses to sleep, or be satisfied, and it thinks, dreams, questions, asks, fingers and still emits those shimmering sparks, that make me again...

It’s at moments like these that your ire notches up a few more degrees than you thought was your worst, and being precluded in a world that you don’t want anyone to interfere with and most of all have ‘pep talk’ when they have no freaking clue about what ‘reality’ is, you get tested with your patience on some ‘I care about you’ talk. Please – if you cared enough, or even knew me enough, you would stay right in your own place, for you never really knew me or for that matter anyone else than yourself, for you so freaking live a life that revolves around your own damn self – megalomania ! And do I sound like a jerk? Well, did I ever say I was not ?

Why does one always look at the past, and even the one with the most pitiful existence, have some wonderful moments to remember back, while at the same time, everything about tomorrow, is looked with spite, loaded with fears and speculation. The answer my friend is – when we look at the past, we always see beyond ourselves, and our situations (present and past), while when we look at the future, we somehow can’t look an inch beyond ourselves! Whoa!

As the clocks keep ticking ahead, and to most in my immediate circle (me included), the clock somehow seems ticking faster as you approach or just about cross 30. At this probable midpoint in life, often wonder how the vantage of time has fared. It’s a one off game between the ticking clock and the suspended slices of time till now. I would start the timeline from high school, (or teen age years ~ ah, that sounds sooooooooooo good) , cos till then, the ticking clock was controlled by everything and everybody else than us. And the day arrived, when each of us said (in our teen age years) – Hey! – I know what I am doing, I really do, and bloody stop interfering with my life – I can control it, and know hellya much better than you know. After all, what the hell do you know about being in my generation and being in teen years (hellya, yes!). The clocks slowed down, rather got scared looking at the fusillade of energy - the days stopped at 23:49, and started at 00:16, and the clocks got con...

So, just made it on the after a mad sprint across 3 platforms, and hopping into the last bogie just as it was about to leave the platform, and thanks to some fervent prayers, the train left 4 minutes late. Now the fun part, my ticket was upgraded, and now retained on the same class. However, another girl got upgraded. The catch, she is newly wed, and her hubby beside her did not get upgraded. The sincere TT says, its against the rules to exchange tickets across classes, and I bet he will be around to check if we do swap the seats. Fun Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

That's all the time I have to reach the railway station, after losing a good 20 mins at a railway crossing. And it's raining. And traffic mamu wants to clear one big lane at a time. Will post a "from the train blog" if I make it in time. If I should think of some consolation, my waitlisted ticket got upgraded to first class. But I guess there is never a free meal! Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

An uncle that I respect much, while discussing (~ read give gyan) about my girl hunt, said – "John – before a man really gets to commit and is ready to be married, he has to be broken apart in every sense, and be built back, and this is the only way, it really gets done. The longer you resist, for whatever reason you think it’s worth it, it just gets painful” Well – I just smiled, and thought, ya – there are few things I need to let go, but being broken apart and then being rebuilt – hmmm… naaaaaaaaah. I still wonder about the above, but today, I have done something I thought I will never do (or rather never wanted to do) – Send across my “profile” to a prospective girl! Yes – I did it, and all my dear friends – you can go ahead and rag me now. Well, the only salvage point – I sent as few details as possible, and 4 pictures that were shot by random friends – pictures that are as close in resemblance of me – well – I am not the poster boy, and let not my pictures (if at all) paint ...

God made Adam before he made Eve because he didn't want any advice on the matter. ~ Patrick Murray

There was a time, when being broke meant being broke. You had no money in your pocket, your bank and no hope of any deposits mysteriously appearing out of no where. Come this modern era, I wonder if any of us are / can be really broke in the classical term. You have an overdraft, a nice big credit limit on a few cards, and a whole range of managed funds - in simple terms - Cash Flow. After being on half pay for almost half a year, and a fast dwindling bottom line, and more than expected expenses - my monthly balance sheet shows a big 5 digit figure in the red. Yet, I am making some 6 digit investments in small time businesses(assuming they will payout in the short term), watch movies at IMAX, reading and buying books. I wonder, today looking at the red, if I am broke - in pure accounting terms, if my other assets get frozen, I can file for bankruptcy - hmmm The modern day definition of being broke is that your cards get frozen, bank account reads zero, and you have no money...

.... And when I say 'whatever', it means, I am at the end of the line. Whatever Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

It all starts early, when everyone around him is fascinated by his apparent breadth of understanding, while in reality it’s amplitude that really sets him apart – in short, he sets off on a path of deeper probing, while the world assumes a broader spreading. The initial conflicts appear as rather curious quirks, and are put up with as rather fascinating, and yeah, he will eventually grow up and understand – except that, his long lone way of a single journey, not encompassing a broad horizon starts – In short, a loner in the making, with a flamboyant outlook. And, then along the way, in his growing years, he meets and finds some cloned cousins who can give endless intellectual orgasm, and they become friends for a while. And the clock ticks, where the loner, for some time, with his friends started expanding his circle, suddenly realized that he misses, what he most cherishes – amplitude, and off, he sets on a path, of deeper understanding again. And , the clock ticks, till he finds no o...

It started out as a feeling Which then grew into a hope Which then turned into a quiet thought Which then turned into a quiet word And then that word grew louder and louder 'Til it was a battle cry I'll come back When you call me No need to say goodbye Just because everything's changing Doesn't mean it's never been this way before All you can do is try to know who your friends are As you head off to the war Pick a star on the dark horizon And follow the light You'll come back when it's over No need to say goodbye You'll come back when it's over No need to say goodbye Now we're back to the beginning It's just a feeling and no one knows yet But just because they can't feel it too Doesn't mean that you have to forget Let your memories grow stronger and stronger 'Til they're before your eyes You'll come back When they call you No need to say goodbye You'll come back When they call you No need to say goodbye You can hear it...

Need say more? Take 30 seconds, close your eyes and think how much 'reality' there really is; a reality not influenced by the Imaginary! Have fun :-) Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

You never really understand that till you have free time on your hand and really do nothing. I did far more many things when much busier than now. What a tragedy! Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

Deprived of any intellectual stimuli - and hours of endless browsing, found something worth a tickle to the head. - Read on - Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: "First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and so...

Imagination has its foundation in an unfulfilled possible reality. The key word here is 'possible'. Fantasy has its foundation on an undeserved / unearnable reality. Most often we confuse fantasy for ambition & extrapolation for imagination. That leaves us with one question - creativity. Creativity is augmenting what's already present, and having the curtosy to give credit to what has been, and taking credit for what is been augmented. ..... Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

Disappointment – When you fail to keep up an appointment with yourself, most often camouflaged as with the environments / people other than you Pain – the feeling that you want to share, and cant share, and have no one except you to look into, most often camouflaged being hurt by something external Hope – the quintessential feeling of strength and weakness at the same time for humans – most often seen as positive, in reality it has no polarity Blog – Where you “right” things at some superficial level (by writing wierd blogs), not having to care about anything, but usually morphed under fictitious labels of Points of view, attitude, et all Relationship – the tyranny of seeking strength in your weakest moments, and willing to get sapped out for your partners weakest moments, usually packed in a pink box called love, and a cute bow called sacrifice, but essentially another survival game that’s played with finesse, and by choice have raging sparks (of all kinds) Me (I) – A figment of ...

'Achievement' is to take the broad canopy of experiences to make an impacting difference to a simple thing. 'Living'(life fully) is to discover and understand, how much depth there is to that apparent simple thing. Without real achievements, you can never discover living. Without truly living, you can never really achieve anything. ....And yes, there are lots of immaterial achievements (ironically mostly identified by their materialistic value), and there is life in the fast lane, where every one is in a hurry to reach ahead, so that they can enjoy life with the time they worked so hard to save! To Bliss ~John . Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

After being blissful in my own world, exploring, enjoying, crying, cursing, riding, living and having fun by my terms, at last, I guess I fully feel the need for a partner and also now ready to be a partner, and share and look at life ahead along with whoever my partner would be. Yes on fronts - Spiritual, intellectual, emotional and physical. My blogs reflect my Spiritual, Intellectual and Emotional aspects, and I believe that these are sides of you that don't get built or change overnight. The last aspect - physical - that's what I need to work on. When I think back, I look at myself in both awe and disgust at the same time - looks like I can shrink and expand by quite a range. But for now, I want to shrink and stay that way. Ya, ppl - you can gift me some nice sports shoes and a new wardrobe, which is 2 sizes smaller. That way I would really have to earn it. (...and some nice Deo's - c'mon, that the only piece of cosmetic, if I can call that, that I use) ...

I thought the last post summarized it all, till today morning, till I met another character of his kind (all over again) Rationals understand logic Irrationals love to hear themselves Obtuse keep asking for more data Never underestimate the power of an obtuse, self proclaimed demi-God with no brains and pseudo balls - first they engage with you, then they frustrate you, and then have the nerve to take glory of fictitious value.

Most often Arrogance is acquired, which people hate, cos you don't deserve to be arrogant. Arrogance must be earned - People will still hate you (cos secretly they realise that they cant be you), and can't deny that yu earned it. ....

This by far is the funniest Geek Pick Up line I heard - You are by far the most beautiful women I have seen since my Grad days. I'll give you two years of free tution to sleep with you!! Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

Today was my Parents wedding anniversary. 33 years of married life. They say that it feels like 33 days. And how true - when we look back on our lives, many things and the most important things feel like they happened yesterday, and the trouble we buffet ourselves with seem like eternity. I wonder, and when I look back, after 3 full decades of living, it seems like life started just yesterday. I remember the first day, my sister went to school, and the colours look so real and her oiled piggy tails so fresh. So many memories, seeming like they happened yesterday, and now when I see my Parents smiling on Yesterday - it reminds gently, that so much of worry for today at best robs of all your happiness and nothing more. Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone Essar

I am sure all of us have at least once laughed catching some one unaware on the other side of a tinted glass. Someone combing, checking their teeth or adjusting their clothes or just admiring themselves all unaware that there is someone watching them on the other side of the tinted glass. While this is fun in life, I wonder why it becomes so exceptionally dirty in work life. People talking and behaving oblivious that there are no closed rooms or cubicles, but just tinted glass(es) on all 6 sides. One thing is for sure. How you behave when you are winning tells a lot about your character, and everything about your character when you are losing. The last 2 weeks has given me a chance to look at myself through this tinted glass, and it was ______ seeing myself that way. You discover a few subdued traits of yourself, experience a different depth of emotion and have a muffled laugh meeting yourself all over again. The best part is when you realize the convictions, beliefs...

Modern Man's best friend in the corporate world - the Blackberry. It helps you browse, play games, check match scores, chat and ya make phone calls, and kill boredom during long corporate speeches, meetings, waiting for the girl to come etc etc. Oh yeah, you can check all your personal mails, book movie tickets, find addresses / directions and....and....and.... Check office mail and ignore it all! Now I can blog sitting on the pot!!! Did all the girls say eh! Let me share some disgusting secret - you girls never know how many times your guy answered the phone sitting like a king on the Pot. Hehhehehhehe Mobile blogging Zindabad

At the end of a long frustrating and depressing week, just two words that brought a smile - "Miss You" - It was nice :-) -

Of late, I have been in Sombre mood . Ya, a lot of it has to do with the worries of an uncertain job market, bad recession and the fast dwindling topline of the account I manage, and everyone reacts very differently to the same. 'Friends' who have never been in touch start calling 2-3 times a day asking me for references and help updating the CVs, Pals offer advice, close ones offer fortitude and the rest with whom you work, offer Red Flags, missed schedules and dwarfed minds. It’s perplexing how this whole concept of Red Flags, Missed Schedules and Dwarfed minds work both at work and in life in general. At work, when red flags are raised early on, you are an asshole and the same when raised by the world over, after something gets screwed and you refuse to be part of the “orgasmic futile dwarfed ‘intellectual’ discussion”, you are again being an Asshole – wake up – either grow balls, or take pride in being diminutive (and I guess there is nothing wrong with that). In life, fort...

There are some many words that run through my head that can fill that blank after “Disappointment with ….” What appalls the most is when you are disappointed most at the lack of sensitivity, about how you would react if you were in the same position – What if you were the employee and not the boss What if you were the customer and not the bank What if you were the vendor and not the client What if you were to give business and not execute What if you were to hangout in someone’s corridor and the other shuns What if you were the pragmatic and not the idealist What if …. .

As I savor the last few moments of being in the 20’s – quite a Lot of thoughts race through my mind. I rewind to the winter of 1999 – yes – exactly about a decade ago – when I was celebrating my last birthday as a Graduate student; and somehow – I could just see my life laid out for the next 10 years – ala till today. I made a list of things I wanted to do- the kind of jobs, the education, the money, the adventures, the splurges, the travel, the arts, the science, gyan et all – and when I look back – I see a lot of God’s Grace – for the simple fact – I got almost everything on that list (that landed right into my lap, needless to say –mostly undeserved – cos I know a hell lotsa smarter fellows around me who deserved much better) . So there you go- the decade of my 20’s is in the high 90’s in terms of what I wanted Vs what I got. What always perplexed me is - when I looked ahead as a 20 yr old – I could see my life for the next 10 yrs, and could see nothing beyond 30, and with some extr...